Okay, I know I haven't written anything life changing or even that funny. But in the week that I have started this blog my life has improved significantly. It may have something to do with getting to go to four holiday parties this week and significant access to alcohol or the box of chocolate that came on tuesday or the tower of goodies from Harry and David or it could have something to do with the fact that work has slowed significantly so that I can now drop everything or it may do with the fact that I am recognizing that I am letting busyness get in the way of my time with God (which is probably most likely) but like the rat I trained in college the superstitious part of me thinks some of it's the blog.
I am really good at convincing myself to do stuff I don't want to by thinking through an escape clause. I went to college 5,000 miles away from home and unlike the kids who lived two hours from college and whined about homesickness, I was fine, not because I don't love my family or miss my friends or my state, but because I convinced myself if it ever got bad enough. If things were ever so horrible I couldn't go on, all I had to do was get a ride to detroit (1 hour 45 min) and then get on a plane and I'd be home (10 hours later). I had the contingency plan of visiting my best friend near Chicago if things weren't bad enough to merit a plane ticket (only 4.5 hours).
When I moved to Boston, the same thing. I had one friend here and that's all I needed. I knew she loved me and if things were bad enough we'd have eachother, or I only had to wait 12 hours and I'd be home.
Anyway, all that to say recently I have been having trouble not feeling trapped, by work, by responsibilities I have piled on myself, by relationships and by fear/disappointment and I think that this blog is helping me form an escape hatch. . . .
Hmm, this isn't amusing either and my rule is funny trumps everything. So perhaps I share a joke I heard last night at the christmas party: How can you tell the difference between a CPA and an actuary? An actuary is someone who wanted to be a CPA but couldn't handle the fun.
Until next time. . . .
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