Match-Making, or Merely Going Down in Flames?

There was an incredibly amusing article in the NY Times the other day by Calvin Trillin. I sent it to a number of friends, those who pride themselves on their parking skills and those who have been known to aim for one spot and end up on the opposite street (if not the opposite side of town).

While most people responded with thanks, or that's funny, one response was completely unexpected: "There is a boy I think you should get to know here" That's it, one line, completely unrelated to the article I had sent and completely unsolicited.

I responded: Intriguing. I think I will be there in March (not just to meet some boy - C and R are going to straighten out some visa information and since it's around my birthday, they invited me to tag along).

The reply I got back baffled me even more: You are not going to like this boy and he you immediately but it is something that where over a long enough time you might become friends. Whatever. Too soon for you to meet. I don't know.

I responded: Well it sounds like a match made in heaven! I wonder why I haven't put my social life in your hands earlier.

what makes you want to introduce us if you don't think either of us will like the other one and maybe sometime in the far off distance we might possibly be friends if we worked at it?

Dude, I am old and tired, I am not willing to work hard for friendships any more ;).


My friend's response: Pitiful, old, can't take risks, won't change, SOB. Probably not worth it. Why should love take work anyway?

I pointed out that he didn't really promise love, he promised a friendship maybe if we worked really hard at it. Oddly enough, I haven't heard back from him at all.

It's sad when bad things happen to good relationships before they even start :).

I'm not yelling at you, I'm just yelling near you

On Sat. we came home from grocery shopping and I was putting stuff away in the fridge. I was combining puddings into one cardboard container. They weren't all the same type of pudding, but I am sick of opening the doors to the fridge and the freezer and having to duck because of things falling out at me. I was never good at video games and I certainly am no better when actual projectiles are heading towards me. My roommate came in and pointed out that they were different types of pudding. I said (or perhaps snapped) is that a problem? Just eat the two on that end! Then she announced that they had separated the shelves while I was gone. I was so frustrated at that point I told her she could finish the project. She left the room and I finished the job. Thinking to myself, this must be exactly how my mother felt when she was mixing cereals and combining boxes of crackers when I was a child.

Tidbits

*I woke up this morning and the residual part of the dream was that I had done something good and I was awarded a gold star. It was one of those gold star stickers that comes on a sheet with the red, blue, green and silver stickers. I asked if I could have the silver instead because I liked silver better than gold. I thought about it as I was getting out of bed and I have always liked silver better than gold. I have also always had the goal of being slightly better than average. I am not asking to be the best, merely better than most. I thought it was funny that such a goal would have been implemented so very young. But it's true. The best example I can come up with isn't actually that young, but it was when we were looking at boarding schools and one of the interviewers asked what my PSAT score was and I said I didn't know. My dad said you don't know!? and I said, all I know is I got a better Score than Katie Young!! Which was not exactly the right answer, but it did stop my dad from questioning me again in the interview :).

*My boss announced that she was cranky to my co-worker. I don't know if that was to insinuate that she was cranky with me, or because she assumed that I would know she was cranky since she'd already been cranky with me. In either case, it didn't feel like much of a revelation, nor something particularly noteworthy considering the last year (though she has been pleasant for the past two weeks).

*The toliet downstairs is flushing continuously and vigorously. We have called the plumbers three times. It's not making them come faster, but it's really quite a startling situation down there, it seems best to keep them updated! -- and no, we can't turn off the water, it's a public restroom and there's not the normal valve and every nut we've tried turning has only resulted in more water spraying. I told the UPS guy when he came in and asked how I was. He said, well at least it's flushing and it's not coming out the other way. . . . So I suppose that leads me to the slightly above average start of this post, I could be having a worse day, but this one is bad enough and it's not even noon yet (though it's close :)).

Because I am Bored

I want to post something fascinating and funny and dreary-life altering (as in your life will be bright and shiny after reading it-- if only for a moment). I also want to post something interesting so my friend who is home sick will have something to break up the monotony.

All that being said, because I am bored, I am also not in my most fascinating and funny mindset and can't come up with something amusing to blog about. Sadly, I feel like I spend most of this blog saying that.

What I can tell you is that I found one of my favorite Dogisms online today: "The closer we get to a fugitive, the more we become like robots, on a mission from god." The beauty of this statement is that it is at once terrifying and incredibly funny. The idea of "Robots for Jesus" out with little pamphlets is amusing but the idea of a military state with robots serving a God somehow seems a mite dystopian.

This also reminded me of a conversation we had in my Thursday night group. People were talking about unanswered prayers. One person in particular was discussing the war how she didn't understand why it hadn't come to an end yet, despite fervent prayers. One person pointed out that if God were to supernaturally end the war it would be going against George W.'s free will. Someone else pointed out that the war was going against a lot of people's free will etc. The guy arguing for GW's will pointed out that the other people don't have the power to end it so their free will isn't really at stake or some similar thing (perhaps I am mistaken in his explanation, but I am pretty sure that's what he was saying). It has obviously taken me mulling over for quite some time, but I still don't get that. I mean if God can harden the heart of a Pharoh and soften the heart of a Persecutor of Christians and if he could make the sun stand still for Joshua, I don't see how it's interrupting free will or the natural order of things any more to stop a war.

I am sure that the war, including the continuation are part of God's greater plan. I also believe that Free will is an incredible gift/responsibility that we've been given. But I guess I am not sure that they necessarily preclude one or the other from happening, if that makes sense.

Well that's what you get for reading my blog when I have already warned you I am bored, utter nonsense that hardly makes sense and is only tangentally related. I welcome thoughts, opinions or knock knock jokes, because, as I have repeated a number of times already, I am bored.

Sigh

I had such a lovely day yesterday. Insanely early (for me on a Saturday) I got up and took the train to Haymarket where my friend promised to meet me and ride the bus with me to the Chelsea Soup Kitchen. He stayed true to his word and we had a pleasant bus ride (one that might convince you not to hate the bus if you hadn't already had too many experiences to harden your heart against the bus).

When we got to the soup kitchen there were only a couple of other people and my friend suggested we rearrange the food pantry. That's a task I can handle, I mean I am a librarian, I know how to classify and order stuff. Also, I like having a concrete task when I am in a new situation because I am shy and don't do well continuing conversations with strangers.

After organizing the closet my friend came back and said we had to do inventory. I'll admit, there was a small uprising (by which I mean I said WHAT!? why didn't you tell me that before I stacked everything on shelves three deep and have to pull things out to see what's there?). His terribly amusing response (no, I mean it I actually laughed out loud when he said it): "On Thursday nights you're in charge. Here, I am in charge, you have to take orders from me today!" Perhaps some background is needed to fully understand how amusing this statement is. On Thursday nights he is the sweetest, most mild mannered soft spoken guy. He comes into the kitchen and quietly and diligently does everything he sees that needs to be done. In one of my not so shining moments I snapped (physically snapped my fingers at him) I don't even remember why I did it, what I do remember is that instead of slapping me (or at least my hands) he just did what I asked. Anyway, knowing that, it was really funny to see him pulling rank.

The day was really pleasant. After finishing the inventory, I went out and talked to some of the guests. Then people started serving the food. I mean really serving it, just like waiters and waitresses. It was an incredible spread (not the least because all the food is donated so who knows what they'll have from week to week). They had a tomato bisque starter (not cream of tomato soup, honestly a very fancy looking tomato soup) and then a light chicken fricassee (not fried I don't think) and rice (really really good rice). There was also a nice garden salad and incredible bread, with a perfect chewy outside and soft inside. The meal was actually made by a professional chef (apparently three professional chefs help and on the other week incredibly talented amateurs cook -- sort of like chef Olympians :)).

It was also cute to see how much the people at the soup kitchen love and value my friend. They were constantly singing his praises and going to him with questions/asking for help. It was such an interesting turn considering that's the role I usually play in our church kitchen. It definitely gave me a different perspective on my friend.

I told him he should take a first date there. Then he'd know if she had a heart for the underprivileged like he does and he'd see how much of a hard worker she was. He'd also have tons of people talking him up to the girl and they'd get to share an INCREDIBLE meal that wouldn't cost him anything :).

When the work was done he and I went to my candy store in the north end and took a quick trip through Haymarket before heading our separate ways.

I went home and chilled for an hour with the current book I am reading: The Thirteenth Tale, which so far I really love. Then my friend Laurie came over and we spent the evening cooking dinner (we had Newman's pineapple salsa which was incredible and then a lovely baked squash and sweet potato dish with salad) watching arrested development (really we only saw two episodes, but I think I could really get into it) and then just talking for hours. It was really nice. We hadn't had a chance to do it in over a year.

After she left, I watched two Cosby show episodes and went to bed. A perfect day.

More By 4am. . . .

Ok, so maybe I couldn't cut it in the Marines, but I was awfully proud of myself this morning (and so I am sharing).

1. I made it to the gym again this morning
2. I went to the church and got everything ready for muffin making tonight.
3. I stopped on my way out of church and gave the man sitting there with "homeless by fire" signs a drakes coffee cake to go with the coffee I noticed he had on my way in. I thought he might find it slightly offensive sort of like oh look, the "good" Christian girl does her one deed for the day and gives me a damn cake. But he was very nice and if he thought those things he at least kept them to himself. One of these days I need to get up the nerve and chat with him -- somehow it's so much easier when we're in a group on Thursday nights. . . .
4. I stopped by the bank and deposited a much needed check.
5. I got into work and put away the vacuum that the janitor left riding in the elevator (it did make me imagine the vacuum joy riding in there while everyone was gone, then I started imagining it as a sort of fraidy cat vacuum who got seasick every time the elevator went up and down and that was even more fun :)).
6. I sent out an email telling everyone not to panic, we're having pizza muffins out on the commmon tonight AND everything is set out (or better yet, in the tupperware container safe from the insane number of mice that reside in the rodent ritz our church simply calls the "coffee closet).
7. I made labels with verses on them for packaging with the muffins. Something that hasn't been done in months.
8. I had breakfast.

Sadly, I apparently only did 8 things before 9:00, not a nice round 10 or even a nine things to do before nine, but it still felt good to get all that finished before work.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue. . .

No, I am not getting married. In fact this post has nothing to do with weddings really. It was just some thoughts I had on the walk home tonight that seemed to fall into each of these categories, but not exactly in the correct order.

I was glancing into windows today as I walked home (not pausing and staring mind you, simply looking as I passed by) and I thought about how much I have always liked looking in people's homes, seeing them cooking or playing games or gathering on the balcony for a party. I swear I am not a peeping tom. I don't go up to windows to see people specifically. I am not looking for someone naked or in a compromising position. I just like to pass by and glance, sort of like dropping in for a moment and borrowing their lives. Does this make sense? Typing it out it sounds creepy.

I guess, I just like imagining lives that are different than mine. How they work. What their experiences are. People who have flan as a favorite dessert, or who wash their clothes every tuesday. . . I suppose that's why I like books so much and documentaries. It's probably also why the reality tv shows I enjoy so much are things like Little People Big World and House of Tiny Terrors or Supernanny.

The idea of borrowing other people's lives reminded me of something I said to my friend Chris last year. I was talking about how hard February always is for me. How sad and depressed I am. He asked me why February was so hard (apparently a good question)and the best explanation I could give him was: "It's a new year and I'm the same me," Somehow December comes with its traditions and family and safety and then January with it's blank white page of fresh hope and then February hits and its blatantly obvious that no matter how hard I try, I have my same problems, my same failings and my same struggles.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for today. I have to go call my sister and wish her a happy birthday now :)

Back in the Saddle, But Learning to Use the Reins

So, it's been a busy first week back.

Saturday after standing in line for over 90 minutes and then being bumped to another later flight because they refused to delay my flight (and then they delayed the flight I was bumped to by 40 minutes) I made it out of Anchorage.

Sunday after flying all day I made it into Boston and then went grocery shopping in a half hearted/flighty sort of way (a way my roommate terms drunk shopping -- though this time I was actually sober).

Monday I caught up on two weeks worth of missed work.

Tuesday I continued to play catch up and was terribly exhausted by the time I got home -- so much so that the thought of making a spread sheet for my Thurs. night group brought me to the brink of tears.

Wednesday I made a stupid budget with terrible numbers and lots of passive agressive comments because I was feeling particularly put upon and bitter (baby Jesus was crying). To make up for it, I was cheerful doing my volunteer work cooking for the homeless and then I treated my roommate to Fajitas and Ritas to celebrate her last Wed. before classes start for her (sadly I was very unhappy to realize a little too late that ritas fit very poorly into my new diet plan).

Thursday I was back out on the common handing out muffins and coffee and chatting with the homeless. That was a good night. Also, I got to go out for drinks after with a couple of friends I hadn't seen in two weeks (and this time was a lot more prepared/wiser about what "drinks" could entail).

Friday One of my small groups hosted a welcome dinner for new people in our church. Usually I am pretty involved with this sort of thing, hosting being one of my gifts. This time I simply brought garlic bread and ran out for appetizers when the original plan for them fell through.

Saturday was a birthday party for one of my best friends in Boston which usually I would have gone all out for. This year I simply showed up and brought some beer (oh, and some pretzels dipped in chocolate both items were left over from the night before, I simply re-purposed them).

Sunday I went ice skating (for about ten minutes before I almost wiped out and almost took out my friend, in the end he and I managed to both stay standing) and then went to church where I met an friend from the common for church.

Monday I folded clothes most of the day and washed my linens and prepared a bag to go to the gym (not to stressful at all, except I couldn't fall asleep till after 1:00am)

Tuesday I managed to make it up and out to the gym and had a decent work out. Now I am sleepy though and not looking forward to small group :). Ah well. It could be a lot worse (and sadly for you, a lot more interesting).

Tired

So I started this blog because I was overwhelmed and tired and frustrated. As I have mentioned in any entry about my trip home, I have done very little and I have been VERY happy.

Tonight my BFF asked me to go to late night bingo. It starts at 11:00, she gets off work at 10:00. It sounds like something up my alley, but I don't want to. I don't want to leave the house. I like watching television. I like watching movies. I like sleeping. I like not leaving the nice warm house. I like doing nothing. I really do do a lot in Boston. I am happy having a vacation from everything.

My reluctance to leave the house makes my BFF unhappy -- what with working two jobs and now babysitting at her sister's she doesn't get much time to have fun.

I am unhappy that I have disappointed her. I am unhappy with the idea of going out tonight. I am unhappy with everything.

My sister was supposed to cut/dye my hair tonight. I have waited two weeks for her to do it. Now I am just sad and don't want to make the effort to even do that. . . . . .

Another Obsession

I watched the MASH 20 year reunion last night (on TVLAND for those who care). It was good to see some of the actors who have since passed away. I just wish we could have had more interviews with the actual actors from MASH as opposed to listening to Shelly Long who was on one freakin' episode of MASH and is a piece of crap actress who was probably trying to resurrect her career since she'd been gone from Cheers, narrate and sum up the whole show for us. Also, I understand it's a retrospective, but couldn't they have more interviews than clips from shows? I really care more about what the actors/writers etc. have to say. I mean, at this point, I own all the seasons on DVD and have watched them about ten times each. . . .

Tonight is the 30 year renuion and I am hoping there are more interviews and far less Shelly Long.

Also, to catch up on the other exciting things I have done this week, I didn't make it to Mumbo Gumbo, they weren't open the day I wrote the blog and they weren't open the 31st, the 1st or as far as we know the 2nd :(.

On the second we did go to the Bear Tooth Theater Pub which is the best theater I have ever been to in the world!!! We saw For Your Consideration. Not my Favorite Christopher Guest movie, but still pretty good. We also had the Garlic Chicken Pizza with real roasted garlic cloves. I look forward to it every time I come home.

I also saw a movie starring Rachel Griffiths (on the Independent Film Channel) called Me Myself I. I kind of liked it. Not the best movie in the world, but fulfilled my rotting my mind vacation needs. It kept reminding me of The Family Man though. When I looked it up, it looks like it came out one year before.

In case you're worried about atrophy from so much television watching, you can rest easy knowing I have finished two scarves and started a third and I shoveled a path from our house to the garage and from our house to the street. I also went with my sister and helped her shovel at the house where she's housesitting (she paid for my yarn for the third scarf in exchange for that :)).