Ennui

Lin Yutang said: "Probably the difference between man and the monkeys is that the monkeys are merely bored, while man has boredom plus imagination."

So I usually only blog when I am bored or annoyed. I was unbearably unhappy at work today. So much so that on my lunch hour I spent time searching for another job. I cannot handle the social dynamics at work. It's so frustrating sometimes. In the last few months, I've had a couple of dreams that include me quitting my job. As you know, I have also been unhappy generally and have felt pulled somewhere else, I just can't figure out where.

A friend suggested that perhaps blogging my ideas for alternative realities may help the build-up of unhappiness. Awhile ago, I wrote about a house I wanted but I wouldn't share the link because it was too dear to me. That house has since sold (shockingly, not to me). So I've decided to share my insane dreams with you all from now on.

Today, my big plan when I couldn't find anyone hiring was to buy a house (still have no down payment mind you) in Palmer, Alaska and start growing peonies . People on weddingbee.com are always moaning about how they cannot get peonies in the middle of summer because they're not in season. I thought I was brilliant for coming up with the idea of growing them in Alaska. When I was in college, I would love it. It would be lilac season in Michigan and then when I got home to Alaska it would be lilac season all over again because Alaska's summer was about a month delayed. Clearly, I could use that same theory for my peony business!!

When I was home this past summer my dad mentioned a family friend had considered going into the peony business. So perhaps I should have realized that my brilliant idea wasn't so unique/earth shattering. What I didn't realize, was that there was a whole association!!

So perhaps the peony thing won't work out, there will be too much of a glut on the market and I don't have a job lined up for the two years it would take to start the plants growing strong. But follow me down this path for a bit, the one where money is no object, and I actually don't kill every ivy plant that crosses my path (supposedly one of the easiest plants to grow).

I would buy this house: http://www.trulia.com/property/1074787248-20723-N-Glenn-Hwy-Palmer-AK-99645 it's reduced guys, it's like a siren song to the buyer in me! As an aside, if you went to look at the house, I hope you made it to the last few pictures of the 25 where there are gratuitous "cute moose" pictures (notice they didn't show you the bears or wolves or scary animals). It's half the price of the house I have my eye on here AND it has 13 acres of land, surely that would be plenty of land to grow peonies! The house is slightly over 2,000 square feet and has a large outbuilding so there's got to be a space for my boy to set up a dark room, not to mention to start thinking about making my compound for family/friends to visit.

We would be 20 minutes away from the fairgrounds and certainly live far more in the wild than I ever have. This means my boy could take all the nature pictures he could possibly want and once a year there would be a market practically in our back yard to sell them!

Maybe we could branch out, in the winter we could offer to cater holiday parties, or go to church bazaars and similar events with a cotton candy machine or kettle corn. In fact, the Alaska state fair has a LOT of nice booths, ice cream booths with fresh made waffle cones filled with barley caramel ice cream, genuine southern gumbo, and lots more yummy items, but I don't think they have deep fried cheese curds. We could TOTALLY fill that market. If that's too tough though, maybe we could just make deep fried oreos (such a simple treat).

I think we could totally make it work, and I also think, barring the fact that we have no money and I don't love winter, we'd be way happier than we are currently (and by we, clearly I mean me).

While searching for property in Palmer, I vaguely remembered a for sale sign I saw when we were up there this summer. Wolf Country USA is for sale for $950,000 I've always been a fan of crazy road side attractions. The problem is, I find wolves mildly intimidating and I'm not a great gold panner, so I am not sure that wolf country is the best fit. Perhaps if they had something in the way of pink flamingos. . .

EDIT: My boy heard about my plan and said he'd rather grow giant cabbage and start a sauerkraut canning company -- perhaps that's what we could do with the winter months? I mean he is from the land of pork and sauerkraut.

Instant Streaming

So post three of stream of consciousness. . .

Little Couple is in Boston. Here are the things that are weird about this. 1. they're in the north end in the summer and it's not crowded to the brim with some festival. 2. they're in Mike's Pastries and they were not only not trampled to death, the camera crew had enough space to get shots of the glass cases filled with pastries. Also, not weird, but I thought I should mention I hate Union Oyster House (they went there too). I realize it's historical and that the founders of our country were patrons of the establishment, but I am convinced given the choices available now, they wouldn't be caught dead in the Union Oyster house (well actually, they aren't caught dead there and they actually are dead so I rest my case).

Speaking of the Faneuil Hall area, I went to Crate and Barrel today and that location is closing. It's been there for 30 years, it is the most convenient location in the world for me and has gotten a number of us in my office out of a lot of jams. I am sooo sad about this closing. The biggest shopper I know has left the country for two weeks and in her absence Crate and Barrel decides to close?!

And while we're on the topic of dishes and being abandoned, my boy is the one in our house that does our dishes. I hate doing dishes. There are a lot of reasons why I hate doing the dishes, but tonight as I was doing them, I was reminded of yet another reason. We have one of those handled sponges that is filled with soap. It's great except that the sponge doesn't stick very far out the front of the handle but it sticks out behind. Why would you design something like this? It means you cannot get the bottom part of narrow cups, vases etc clean. In looking for a picture to demonstrate the maddening design to you, I had to go through two pages before I could find one to show you what I was talking about. Apparently oxo's classic design (and pretty much any other one they've designed) does not have this issue, nor does libman to the same extent that ours does.

I have more randomness I could spurt (like a handled sponge), but I think this is probably good for tonight. Tomorrow will be my last night with ready access to Internet till Monday, so eat it up now!

Friendly Little Public Service Announcement

So clearly the stream or consciousness writing hasn't affected my readership. I didn't get any comments but I also got no complaints. So here we go again.

Have you used up your FSA yet? You have three more days. I was planning on getting a tdap vaccination because I work with the homeless (who can be high risk for pertussis) and am around a few babies (though I've been so slow about it at least one of them has already sped well past the 12 month marker). Apparently whooping cough is deadly to babies, or at least that's what the scaremonger article I read said. The cdc just says:

Adults who expect to have close contact with an infant younger than 12 months of age should get a dose of Tdap. Waiting at least 2 years since the last dose of Td is suggested, but not required.

According to the CVS minute clinic website, that vaccine and a flu vaccine would have taken care of the rest of my FSA balance. Sadly, Mayor Menino (WHO I DID NOT VOTE FOR WHEN I HAD A CHANCE -- TWICE!!!) doesn't like minute clinics (okay fine, it's not just him, but since I currently don't like doctors, I like the above board we're just in it to make money minute clinic idea besides, there are two cvs stores really close to work, so convenient for a quick vaccine).

Anyway, that's a long boring post, to say, if you're like I am and didn't make it to the minute clinic, you can go to drugstore.com, where they have a lovely tab for fsa eligible items. I ate through my balance pretty quickly.

Speaking of eating, have you tried Turkey Hill's Chocolate Nutty Moose tracks?!

It's delicious, you should rush right out and by some -- and by you, I mean my boy specifically because even though it's only 55 degrees in our house and I am freezing, it's becoming a very real possibility I will consume all 12 servings before Thursday.

In other random announcements, did you know that there are pink tomatoes? I mean really, can't Susan G. Komen let just one opportunity to turn things pink go?!? Really it's Burpee, and as as far as I know they aren't donating money to Susan G. Komen, but maybe they should get on them!

Also, my boy is correct, apparently, when he says everything comes from Pennsylvania. Burpee seeds come from Fordhook farm located in Doylestown, PA (only an hour away from all of you in Philly). They appear to have "open days" in the summer and fall months where professional gardners give you lectures on gardening and you get to wander around a truly historic site (this is the birthplace of the big boy tomato, golden bantam corn and, most importantly, iceberg lettuce -- so named because of being shipped in crates of ice long distances. If you're interested in more about Burpee and the farm, you can read an article about how burpee seeds got sold off and then reunited with fordhook farm.

Oh, and to answer my question from the last post about best Christmas present this year, I think the beautiful candy apple red kitchen aid mixer I got pulled out ahead:

source

See how much more blogging you get when everyone I know has left the greater Boston area (and by greater Boston area I mean Roslindale and the South end).

PSSSSSSSST Guess What?! It's Been a Month!

So time flies, that's it, time just flies. . . .

We've come to the end of watching The Waltons. Technically we haven't in the sense that in January all the reunion movies come out. But for now, we're aimlessly searching the television for other options. I pick The Golden Girls my boy picks Air Wolf and usually we compromise on an episode of History Detectives we've only watched once or twice before (especially now that TopChef and Monk are finished).

Way back when I started blogging, I thought I had so much to say. Turns out, that's not exactly true. I blogged quite some time ago about a friend who accidentally emailed me (it makes me wonder how many people get back in touch via the auto-fill feature on various email programs). At the time I struggled to come up with something new and flashy that was going on in my life. Oddly enough, my life has slowed down even more at this point, meaning I have even less to blog about -- for example if you referred back to that post, you'll notice that I had started a multi-vitamin, that lasted about a week (TWO YEARS AGO).

Anyway, since it's late and my boy is set on leaving the house at 5am (you know like three hours from now), I've decided to just free associate. . .

I almost titled this post, I got a ring!! Which is true, I did get a ring, but it wasn't an engagement ring, it's just a ring I had admired for awhile and had hinted very strongly (and by strongly I mean I sent a coupon code to my boy and a link) that I would like to see it under our imaginary tree. So yay! It's beautiful, don't believe me? Go, look for yourself.

I've gotten a lot of really lovely presents this Holiday season (I say holiday, because I opened some of them during Chanukah). For starters, I got apples to apples the Jewish edition. WHO KNEW?! Guess which was the first card I pulled, that's right, Sarah!! I also got a super cute stuffed saint (I plan on buying some for two other friends, but since they never read my blog, it's safe to share it here -- besides, the shop is on vacation so I can't even imbed a link). Also, in going to get you the link for the stuffed saint, I stumbled across this which is awfully cute as well!

My boy and I don't write Christmas cards (come on people, you saw how lame I was with thank you cards) but we've gotten a number of cards with pictures of friend's children and sweet or interesting notes updating us on all the goings on in our their lives (clearly I don't need to do that since I blog so regularly ;)). One note I received from my aunt this year made me laugh. She said she enjoyed my blog and that I wrote like I talk. I thought back on how many of my posts are about how annoyed and how depressed I am and I just felt sorry for all of you. Course those of you far away luck out, cause you can just skim or, you know, just skip.

So your turn now, what was the best gift you got for Chanukah (or Christmas if you're late reading the blog post)? And/or if you were going to write a Christmas letter what exciting, new, or notable thing would you include?

Thankful

So this is the season where people who are ungrateful all year long decide to write down/think about what they're thankful for. I, however, am not feeling thankful this year. The thing is, I should be. There are lots of things I have to be thankful for, including the fact that my boy's family, much like my own, does not make you go around the table, putting you on the spot to say stupid heartwarming things about which you're thankful.

This week, even though I only have to make it through two work days, I am having a really rough time. Things are not going how I pictured it (and for those of you who know me well, know I don't like it when things aren't how I picture it).

Last night though, we were watching an episode of The Waltons and there was a scene that clearly didn't go how the director had pictured it. I am happy they left it as is though, cause I couldn't stop laughing last night and even though I am angry and bitter about some things today, I remembered this scene long enough to laugh once more today.

In the episode titled: The Outage The family is having dinner together and discussing racism and freedom and people's rights. They've just finished telling a story about Lena Horne who was entertaining troops at Fort Reilly, Kansas during World War II, when she saw German POWs seated in the front row and African American soldiers forced to sit behind them. They said she walked to the end of the row of POWs turned her back on them and sang to the black soldiers.

There's a pause after this dramatic story and then the kid playing John Curtis (who must be about two) pats his "grandfather" on the shoulder and pipes up"I got new pants." John (his grandfather) says "I see that. Who got you those, your mommy?" John Curtis replies "No, from Pat" (there's no pat on the show). John says "From Pat? Where does she live? On the next farm?" To which, a rather confused John Curtis says "Yeah." and John finishes with "Okay, Good." It was impressive. As one person said: "Ralph Waite was smart enough to cover it up since John Curtis was so excited that he got a new pants. The producer thought it was cute and they decided to leave it alone. Pat Norris was the costume designer for the Waltons"

I think it loses something in the translation here, but I couldn't stop laughing. It also helps that this total non-sequitur regarding pants reminds me of my favorite ad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIq58H6CYQU "I invented pants."

So maybe I'm thankful that some people are so proud of the fact that we all put our pants on one leg at a time, whether we invented them or we got them from Pat. . .

UPDATE: I thought I had posted this ad before, and it turns out I did, here. Also, in the process of searching for where I posted it, I came across a New York Time's article I posted about Christmas sweaters. I know it's still a little early for some people to think about Christmas, but it's worth looking at if you're not intentionally avoiding Christmas.

Warning, a little depressing and graphic

I loved Spoon River Anthology when I was in high school. A series of poems that are the epitaphs of various residents of Spoon River. Tonight, while skimming various blog posts I saw a link for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice which reminded me of that book.

On the site, they listed the offender information and last statement for the executed offenders since 1982:http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/executedoffenders.htm I am not posting this to further a discussion on whether capital punishment is right or wrong. Some of the crimes these people committed are horrific. But reading their last statement first and then their crime, somehow lends more sympathy for them. It may not be of interest to all of you (or any of you), but that's how I've spent my evening, solemnly reading last statements and then records of crimes.

Some of the crimes seem unbelievable, like a made for tv movie, one man had a 160 mile crime spree killing family members and random other people at one point kidnapping a family of five and forcing them to drive him across a border. Some of the crimes are so senseless, a person murdered in an armed robbery that only resulted in getting a six pack. So basically a life (two if you think of the death penalty as murder) all traded for a six pack of beer, there's no mention of whether the criminal actually consumed it or not. Some of the crimes are heartbreaking, one man attacking two people as they left church, stealing $40 from a woman who he then shot and attempted to cut her face with a carpet knife as she prayed to God to forgive her attacker.

I don't know how to explain this fascination I have for this site, the humanizing affect it has on otherwise faceless criminals, the empathetic urges it produces both for the criminal and for the families left in the wake of these crimes. . .

Haven't I seen you on tv?!

So a month or so ago, possibly during the meltdown of Thursday Night Outreach as we know it, or maybe the week before or after, a guy said to me, "I feel like I've seen you on tv."

I said I had never been on tv, but that was flattering, then I proceeded to ask what show. I mean I have been mistaken for Mayim Bialik before, so maybe he was thinking of Blossom? Or Perhaps he thought I could be on a news program? A cooking show?

Nope, he didn't think any of those were it. He said, "Maybe America's funniest Home Videos? Or, Candid Camera?" Great. That's just the persona I want. The kind of person who looks like she gets hit in the crotch or was a bride who slipped and fell on her ass. I said "nope, sorry. . ."

Then I remembered back to my first week here at my job in Boston. There was one incident that had me completely convinced I was on candid camera. So much so that I seriously did look around for the camera.

I was assigned a copying task that involved programming the copier to sort and staple a publication that was well over 50 pages long. Because it was such a large document the document feeder could only take half of the pages at a time. I started the project and went to work on something else. When I came back to the copier what I saw was horrifying*. There were just reams of paper shooting out, falling in huge swathes to the floor. The glow of the light from the copier only made the continued stream of falling pages seem even worse.

After looking around to see if anyone had noticed (or if there were any cameras), I stopped the machine and gathered all the pages together. Clutching them to myself. I ducked into one of the stacks (more difficult than you might think since we have compact shelving). I assessed the damage and realized that part of the problem was that the copier hadn't sorted the pages so they were all being dumped one on top of each other on the top tray. In a panicked moment of stupidity, I began sorting all the pages myself. putting them in different piles to try and collate together. It took me longer than it should have to realize that with the thousands of pages I had in front of me, it would be impossible to sort all the pages back in my little compact shelving alcove without someone (in my office of three employees) realizing something was amiss.

One of the hardest things I've had to do (and yes, probably this is where you really see how blessed I am) was to walk to the front of my office with my arms full of papers and confess to thoroughly messing up the small task I'd been given. My boss was very gracious and, despite my offers to pay for the three reams of paper I'd thoroughly destroyed, she suggested I just try again and forget about the first try.

Eight years later and I'm still here, but boy was I glad when that first week was over!

*I swear there was a movie in the 80s that featured a copier shooting paper out in a similar manner and at this point I was going to link to the youtube featuring it, sadly, I can't find a video of the scene (I think it was 9 to 5 in the xerox room)