Last night I saw a snake.
I am rational enough to know it was a small snake.
I am still squirmy today though.
I was on the phone with my mother and I exclaimed (but did not scream) "oh, there's a snake." My mother said what? and I said, "there's a snake, I just walked right past a snake, it was small but it was a snake." My mother, who hates snakes far more than I do said, "ew, ew, ew" I pointed out she was 6,000 miles away and that it couldn't possibly come near her. She still didn't like it.
She went on to tell me a story about a tv show she watched on a snake doctor though. While she thought it was gross it was so fascinating she couldn't turn it off. The man heals snake bites, but also keeps a garage (since his wife made him move them out of the house when they had a baby) full of poisonous snakes (perhaps for use if business gets bad?).
After awhile I asked her to stop talking about it. She asked why and I said because I've now seen a stick and nearly jumped and a leaf blew across the ground and I almost screamed, I'd rather not talk about snakes any more. She laughed at me.
I pointed out I didn't even yell when I'd seen the snake and she should be proud, she said she was and pleased I hadn't blown her ear off on the phone. So she switched to talking about weddings and still today every so often I feel a shiver go up my spine as I think of the snake slithering by.
I don't like snakes.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
God Bless You
So this is probably blasphemous, but I loved a stand up routine I saw Dane Cook do some time ago (we watched it because for the second or third time tivo hadn't worked for me and it was my consolation prize -- and not a bad one really). Anyway, they are currently filming a movie outside our library that he's in (and I saw him run across the street at one point). I haven't felt the urge to go see any of the movies he's in, but I still think it's kinda cool (my co-workers heartily disagree, they find it an annoyance :)).
Monday, September 17, 2007
Final Wedding (at least for awhile)
My boy and I went to our last wedding of the season. It's been a long wedding season for us, while I have a friend who goes to at least eight a year, I have a much more moderate number, usually. We had two in a row this month and I am looking forward to a weekend without a wedding and to a long time before the next one starts (so far the next one I know about that I think I'll be invited to is way off in August 08). I have liked all of the weddings I have attended this summer though, and I have learned a lot about keeping guests well fed and hydrated and how often that equates to happiness.
At the office we're deep in the throes of planning our yearly event and it took my boss and I about an hour (and a couple of seating charts) to get a tentative seating chart put together. It's very much like a wedding; certain groups are too competitive to sit next to each other, and this group should be seated near the front or they'll be hurt and this group is more than happy to sit in the back if you place them near the bar etc.
When we finished this job I told my boss I am not getting married. I said, earlier, I'd thought about how I was certainly not making my own wedding invitations if I ever got married-- I almost posted about the tediousness of the 100 invitations I folded (I gave up after that many and left the rest of the folding for someone else) for our event and the 500 post-its I had carefully printed (they require precise placement on the paper you're feeding into the printer) but, at the time, even the post was tedious. The difficulty with the seating arrangements have nearly clinched it. If my landlord lets us get a cat, I may jump the rack from the librarian action figure, over to the crazy cat lady skipping soccer mom altogether (she doesn't have a good action figure anyway).
This weekend will be a good break from both activities. My well traveled friend is visiting again. Tonight we're getting sushi and tomorrow, after our soup kitchen, we're planning a trip to Portsmouth and Kittery. Who knows what Sunday will bring. . .
At the office we're deep in the throes of planning our yearly event and it took my boss and I about an hour (and a couple of seating charts) to get a tentative seating chart put together. It's very much like a wedding; certain groups are too competitive to sit next to each other, and this group should be seated near the front or they'll be hurt and this group is more than happy to sit in the back if you place them near the bar etc.
When we finished this job I told my boss I am not getting married. I said, earlier, I'd thought about how I was certainly not making my own wedding invitations if I ever got married-- I almost posted about the tediousness of the 100 invitations I folded (I gave up after that many and left the rest of the folding for someone else) for our event and the 500 post-its I had carefully printed (they require precise placement on the paper you're feeding into the printer) but, at the time, even the post was tedious. The difficulty with the seating arrangements have nearly clinched it. If my landlord lets us get a cat, I may jump the rack from the librarian action figure, over to the crazy cat lady skipping soccer mom altogether (she doesn't have a good action figure anyway).
This weekend will be a good break from both activities. My well traveled friend is visiting again. Tonight we're getting sushi and tomorrow, after our soup kitchen, we're planning a trip to Portsmouth and Kittery. Who knows what Sunday will bring. . .
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
100th Post and a Guest Blogger
So my friend sent me the following and I so thoroughly enjoyed it I asked if I could post it. To be clear, this really is a friend, not me saying it's a friend. I am still at the stage where when engaged friends stick their rings on my finger I flip out because I fear that the ring will never come off and I feel terribly constricted and tied down. . . .
Dear Bitter Friend,
So, after a few months of social disconnectedness, accompanied by much unplanned weight loss in an unwillingly bulimic sort of way, I'm finally feeling human enough to do productive things like read the last 20 weeks or so of getting bitter and thereby getting some sense of what other people did all summer while I threw up. I am strengthened in this endeavor by the fact that as of this week I've finally managed to reattain the weight I was at in April when the unpleasantness began.
See, despite repeated assurances over many years by many physicians that such a thing was medically improbable, if not impossible (for lots of dull reasons), it came to pass that I got knocked up. And just to make sure that I didn't come to doubt the continuance of this unlikely state of affairs, God has allowed me to experience every possible disagreeable pregnancy "symptom" (if it's not a disease, why are they called symptoms, I ask you?) during the last four months. The highlights? Well, next to the constant nausea, bizarre food/smell aversions, and daily (sometimes hourly) opportunities to throw up what little I had managed to consume, they'd have to include boobs so sore and swollen that they've actually popped the underwires out of my bras, horrible acne, and blood vessels bursting all over my face. Are you really excited about being pregnant someday? It's so, so much fun.
Pregnant. With a little hiccup-prone person swimming around inside me, accruing a wealth of things to resent me for over the next 50 years, like the fact that the only thing I've been able to keep down is that nutritional paragon, the mocha frappuccino. Weeks and weeks of daily injecting my unborn child with caffeine, refined sugars, preservatives, and non-organic, hormone-studded dairy. Also, a wealth of early pregnancy health violations including the consumption of sushi, hard liquor, lunch meat, soft cheese (oh, how I miss you, soft cheese) and salami, which I blithely ate, secure in the knowledge that I was incapable of conceiving. Ooops. I've made up for that by managing to eat as little as possible after those first 4 weeks, and the poor thing must be starving, because it kept trying to shove its hands in its mouth during my last ultrasound.
Other than that and getting laid of from one of my two jobs (the other had obligingly promised to lay me off in December), it's been a pretty low-key summer here. I'd say the highlight was when my in-laws came to visit and my father-in-law ate some bad clams. For once, I wasn't the only one getting sick, though I did have to cede our one bathroom to him and throw up in a bucket for a while. Babies. Doesn't the thought of it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?
In truth, I'm not bitter about being pregnant. I'm delighted about it. Really. I'm just bitter that every woman I meet says something like, "Oh, yes, I felt a little queasy for a day or two early in my pregnancy. No, I didn't throw up, but my tummy was just a bit upset once, I remember." Grrrrr. Or, even better, from a friend who's busy growing her second mini-me, "Oh, well, I haven't thrown up with either of my pregnancies, but I'm just a trooper about that sort of thing." A trooper? A trooper, you say? No, you haven't thrown up because you haven't been sick. It's not something one does because one is a pansy, or weak-stomached. (Before this, with one exception, I hadn't thrown up since third grade!!!) It's something that happens when one's entire body convulses in a horrible paroxysm of rejection over the mutant you're making it sustain!
Forgive me, I begin to rant. Therein the root of my bitterness.
Love,
Your Acerbic Friend Plus One.
Dear Bitter Friend,
So, after a few months of social disconnectedness, accompanied by much unplanned weight loss in an unwillingly bulimic sort of way, I'm finally feeling human enough to do productive things like read the last 20 weeks or so of getting bitter and thereby getting some sense of what other people did all summer while I threw up. I am strengthened in this endeavor by the fact that as of this week I've finally managed to reattain the weight I was at in April when the unpleasantness began.
See, despite repeated assurances over many years by many physicians that such a thing was medically improbable, if not impossible (for lots of dull reasons), it came to pass that I got knocked up. And just to make sure that I didn't come to doubt the continuance of this unlikely state of affairs, God has allowed me to experience every possible disagreeable pregnancy "symptom" (if it's not a disease, why are they called symptoms, I ask you?) during the last four months. The highlights? Well, next to the constant nausea, bizarre food/smell aversions, and daily (sometimes hourly) opportunities to throw up what little I had managed to consume, they'd have to include boobs so sore and swollen that they've actually popped the underwires out of my bras, horrible acne, and blood vessels bursting all over my face. Are you really excited about being pregnant someday? It's so, so much fun.
Pregnant. With a little hiccup-prone person swimming around inside me, accruing a wealth of things to resent me for over the next 50 years, like the fact that the only thing I've been able to keep down is that nutritional paragon, the mocha frappuccino. Weeks and weeks of daily injecting my unborn child with caffeine, refined sugars, preservatives, and non-organic, hormone-studded dairy. Also, a wealth of early pregnancy health violations including the consumption of sushi, hard liquor, lunch meat, soft cheese (oh, how I miss you, soft cheese) and salami, which I blithely ate, secure in the knowledge that I was incapable of conceiving. Ooops. I've made up for that by managing to eat as little as possible after those first 4 weeks, and the poor thing must be starving, because it kept trying to shove its hands in its mouth during my last ultrasound.
Other than that and getting laid of from one of my two jobs (the other had obligingly promised to lay me off in December), it's been a pretty low-key summer here. I'd say the highlight was when my in-laws came to visit and my father-in-law ate some bad clams. For once, I wasn't the only one getting sick, though I did have to cede our one bathroom to him and throw up in a bucket for a while. Babies. Doesn't the thought of it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?
In truth, I'm not bitter about being pregnant. I'm delighted about it. Really. I'm just bitter that every woman I meet says something like, "Oh, yes, I felt a little queasy for a day or two early in my pregnancy. No, I didn't throw up, but my tummy was just a bit upset once, I remember." Grrrrr. Or, even better, from a friend who's busy growing her second mini-me, "Oh, well, I haven't thrown up with either of my pregnancies, but I'm just a trooper about that sort of thing." A trooper? A trooper, you say? No, you haven't thrown up because you haven't been sick. It's not something one does because one is a pansy, or weak-stomached. (Before this, with one exception, I hadn't thrown up since third grade!!!) It's something that happens when one's entire body convulses in a horrible paroxysm of rejection over the mutant you're making it sustain!
Forgive me, I begin to rant. Therein the root of my bitterness.
Love,
Your Acerbic Friend Plus One.
Like a trapeze act, timed to the second and high flying fun
Okay, so I am still working on the maine post and a post on this weekend (which includes such highlights as me being terribly confused when we visited Sandwich, MA and I would see things like the Sandwich Ship Shop and think what does that mean?! Do they specialize in subs?). But in the mean time, I have realized that my weekend is planned down to the minute. I am a planner, so this doesn't bother me too much, I am concerned that if one thing goes wrong though, it will set into place an irreversible domino effect (I am also planning on being exhausted when this weekend is over).
Friday, I am going to be participating in a wedding rehearsal at 3:00pm in Newport, RI. This means I have to actually take the whole day off work because I can't find transportation leaving at a time early enough to get me there, but not so early that I am only missing half a day (unless plans have changed again).
Saturday I am trying to convince my boy (who is being decidedly practical at this point) that we can take the car we rented for Friday and visit both Restaurant Depot and Costco so early we can drop the stuff at the church (which will hopefully be open at noon) and then drop the rented car back in its appointed spot. We will then take the train back to my house, quickly get dressed and then pick up the next car we reserved and possibly my roommate from class. We will get to the wedding (also in Newport which is an hour and a half away on a good day) by 5:00 and party like it's 1999 (or something like that) and then drive back home completely exhausted.
Sunday we'll sleep in till 9:00 and then start roasting a pig for my contribution for the welcome dinner my small group is hosting next Fri and hopefully get to nap on the couch for the next 5 hours as it roasts. Then we'll go to the 4:00 service at church and out to dinner for my boy's friend.
We'll see if it all works out. . . .
Friday, I am going to be participating in a wedding rehearsal at 3:00pm in Newport, RI. This means I have to actually take the whole day off work because I can't find transportation leaving at a time early enough to get me there, but not so early that I am only missing half a day (unless plans have changed again).
Saturday I am trying to convince my boy (who is being decidedly practical at this point) that we can take the car we rented for Friday and visit both Restaurant Depot and Costco so early we can drop the stuff at the church (which will hopefully be open at noon) and then drop the rented car back in its appointed spot. We will then take the train back to my house, quickly get dressed and then pick up the next car we reserved and possibly my roommate from class. We will get to the wedding (also in Newport which is an hour and a half away on a good day) by 5:00 and party like it's 1999 (or something like that) and then drive back home completely exhausted.
Sunday we'll sleep in till 9:00 and then start roasting a pig for my contribution for the welcome dinner my small group is hosting next Fri and hopefully get to nap on the couch for the next 5 hours as it roasts. Then we'll go to the 4:00 service at church and out to dinner for my boy's friend.
We'll see if it all works out. . . .
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Cheating
So I have started several posts about exciting things and then I get bogged down in details. I realized part way through my incredibly long post about Maine that people might not actually care to read an entire blow by blow of my weekend. I also realized that I don't really care, they can stop reading at any time. I kinda like being able to look back and remember what happened. So I am slogging along on that.
Just now I had a brief scare when I thought I would be giving a sermonette out on the common tonight (sort of a last minute thing). It reminded me of the last time I gave a sermonette and I decided to post that for the two of you who haven't already read it :).
So here it is:
Tonight I want to talk about loss and I want to talk about blessings. I want to talk about how through all of it, everything belongs to God and the God we serve is a God who wants the best for us.
There was a guy in the Bible named Job. He was a great guy, he was rich and happy and had a big family that all got along and a lot of property and he wasn’t stuck up or proud, and was incredibly faithful to God. The story goes that one day Satan was up chatting with God and God said, have you seen my servant Job who’s soo faithful? And Satan was like, duh he’s faithful look at all you’ve given him, it’s easy to be faithful when you’re rich and your family gets along etc. So God says, no, he’s really faithful, do whatever you want to him as long as you don’t physically hurt him and you’ll see.
Of course Job didn’t know any of this was going on so he’s living his life like normal, praying for his children to be faithful thanking God for his blessings etc. when a servant comes running to him and says the oxen that were plowing and the donkeys nearby were taken by a gang visiting the village and I was the only one who survived. Before Job could say anything, another servant comes running from the other direction and says, there was a freak fire and all the sheep were burned up and I am the only one who survived! Then another servant came running from yet another direction and said your camels were stolen and all of the servants riding them, and I am the only one who survived. Then ANOTHER servant came running (I think we all know where this is going) and he said there was a tornado that hit the house of your oldest son and all of your children and grandchildren were killed and I was the only one who escaped.
Talk about a bad day right? I would be whining and complaining and I would certainly be bitching to God. But this is what Job says:
Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised
Let me repeat that one more time. That’s what he said in the face of all that loss. May the name of the lord be praised. I’m not gonna lie, I have been hugely blessed, but everyone’s had some loss right? Think of the most blessed person you know, brad pitt Angelina jolie, whoever it is whatever person you know who has the greatest life ever, they’ve all had some kind of loss. And I can tell you when I have had my losses, I haven’t handled it with the same grace as Job, I haven’t always looked at my loss recognizing whatever it was, was God’s originally and through it I need to say “May the name of the Lord be praised!” After reading the story of job and re-reading numerous times his response to loss, I now strive to live so I can say praise the lord in the face of any loss. I’m not trying to tell you I actually succeed, I fail at this a lot. But I think they’re powerful words and I pray that I can meet them, and I pray that they’re as powerful for you.
So now we’ve talked about loss, but I promised I would talk about blessings tonight too though, not just about loss. Job said, the lord gave and the lord has taken away, so let’s talk for a moment about when the lord gives, or his blessings. . . .There are two passages I want to read about blessings, the first is:
Matthew 7:9-11:
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
I was telling a friend of mine recently (and I really believe this when I am at my best) that our God is a God who gives us far more than we ask or imagine, sadly in the process the obvious/ best choices we see don't fit into that “I'm giving you more than you can imagine plan” and so we're left wondering what the heck is wrong with God that he can't see what we need/desire and give us just that meanwhile he's probably thinking I KNOW I GOT IT, thanks for your input but I am handling it!!! Or as he said to our friend Job at one point when being questioned, chapter 38: 2 -3 "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me."
Usually, God isn’t that vocal though, and we’re left to wonder as we continue to pray/ask for good things what he could possibly be thinking. The thing is, God has promised to give us good gifts (and not because we deserve them – because we don’t in the least, but because he loves us), He’s promised us good things, but he hasn’t promised to give us everything we desire.
I have a friend whose brother was in a cult. The friend and his family prayed for years that the brother would see the light, that he would leave the cult and re-join the faith of his childhood. Wasn’t that a good thing? Why wasn’t God answering? Because our God is a God who can do more than we can ask or imagine. Recently the friend’s brother did return to his Christian faith but he didn’t return alone, he took everyone in his cult with him and they’re now a budding Christian Congregation. There are lots more examples (I am sure you can think of some yourself) where God’s timing and God’s blessing is far more perfect than anything we can ask for.
I’m not saying it’s not tough waiting for that blessing, yeah, it sucks for now I get that I am often right there with you in the frustration, but I also know that God does such amazing things when we let him that we need to stop getting caught up in that frustration, and focus on his power and goodness. Sometimes we have to pray to have the desire to have the patience we need, or the desire to have the understanding, when we can't just pray for patience or understanding because we’re still to focused on what WE think is better or what timing we think God should have. We’ve forgotten Job’s reminder that we came with nothing and it’s all God’s and we need to praise him no matter what.
I said I had two verses on blessings I wanted to read. The second passage I wanted to read comes from Ephesians and I would like to close with it.
Ephesians 3:20:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
So there you go, do you feel enlightened? One guy liked it so much he asked for the verses from Job. He told me he wanted to hang it on his wall. I found this rather amusing since he's homeless (so he doesn't really have a wall). I managed not to laugh at the irony and promptly gave him my copy!
Just now I had a brief scare when I thought I would be giving a sermonette out on the common tonight (sort of a last minute thing). It reminded me of the last time I gave a sermonette and I decided to post that for the two of you who haven't already read it :).
So here it is:
Tonight I want to talk about loss and I want to talk about blessings. I want to talk about how through all of it, everything belongs to God and the God we serve is a God who wants the best for us.
There was a guy in the Bible named Job. He was a great guy, he was rich and happy and had a big family that all got along and a lot of property and he wasn’t stuck up or proud, and was incredibly faithful to God. The story goes that one day Satan was up chatting with God and God said, have you seen my servant Job who’s soo faithful? And Satan was like, duh he’s faithful look at all you’ve given him, it’s easy to be faithful when you’re rich and your family gets along etc. So God says, no, he’s really faithful, do whatever you want to him as long as you don’t physically hurt him and you’ll see.
Of course Job didn’t know any of this was going on so he’s living his life like normal, praying for his children to be faithful thanking God for his blessings etc. when a servant comes running to him and says the oxen that were plowing and the donkeys nearby were taken by a gang visiting the village and I was the only one who survived. Before Job could say anything, another servant comes running from the other direction and says, there was a freak fire and all the sheep were burned up and I am the only one who survived! Then another servant came running from yet another direction and said your camels were stolen and all of the servants riding them, and I am the only one who survived. Then ANOTHER servant came running (I think we all know where this is going) and he said there was a tornado that hit the house of your oldest son and all of your children and grandchildren were killed and I was the only one who escaped.
Talk about a bad day right? I would be whining and complaining and I would certainly be bitching to God. But this is what Job says:
Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised
Let me repeat that one more time. That’s what he said in the face of all that loss. May the name of the lord be praised. I’m not gonna lie, I have been hugely blessed, but everyone’s had some loss right? Think of the most blessed person you know, brad pitt Angelina jolie, whoever it is whatever person you know who has the greatest life ever, they’ve all had some kind of loss. And I can tell you when I have had my losses, I haven’t handled it with the same grace as Job, I haven’t always looked at my loss recognizing whatever it was, was God’s originally and through it I need to say “May the name of the Lord be praised!” After reading the story of job and re-reading numerous times his response to loss, I now strive to live so I can say praise the lord in the face of any loss. I’m not trying to tell you I actually succeed, I fail at this a lot. But I think they’re powerful words and I pray that I can meet them, and I pray that they’re as powerful for you.
So now we’ve talked about loss, but I promised I would talk about blessings tonight too though, not just about loss. Job said, the lord gave and the lord has taken away, so let’s talk for a moment about when the lord gives, or his blessings. . . .There are two passages I want to read about blessings, the first is:
Matthew 7:9-11:
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
I was telling a friend of mine recently (and I really believe this when I am at my best) that our God is a God who gives us far more than we ask or imagine, sadly in the process the obvious/ best choices we see don't fit into that “I'm giving you more than you can imagine plan” and so we're left wondering what the heck is wrong with God that he can't see what we need/desire and give us just that meanwhile he's probably thinking I KNOW I GOT IT, thanks for your input but I am handling it!!! Or as he said to our friend Job at one point when being questioned, chapter 38: 2 -3 "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me."
Usually, God isn’t that vocal though, and we’re left to wonder as we continue to pray/ask for good things what he could possibly be thinking. The thing is, God has promised to give us good gifts (and not because we deserve them – because we don’t in the least, but because he loves us), He’s promised us good things, but he hasn’t promised to give us everything we desire.
I have a friend whose brother was in a cult. The friend and his family prayed for years that the brother would see the light, that he would leave the cult and re-join the faith of his childhood. Wasn’t that a good thing? Why wasn’t God answering? Because our God is a God who can do more than we can ask or imagine. Recently the friend’s brother did return to his Christian faith but he didn’t return alone, he took everyone in his cult with him and they’re now a budding Christian Congregation. There are lots more examples (I am sure you can think of some yourself) where God’s timing and God’s blessing is far more perfect than anything we can ask for.
I’m not saying it’s not tough waiting for that blessing, yeah, it sucks for now I get that I am often right there with you in the frustration, but I also know that God does such amazing things when we let him that we need to stop getting caught up in that frustration, and focus on his power and goodness. Sometimes we have to pray to have the desire to have the patience we need, or the desire to have the understanding, when we can't just pray for patience or understanding because we’re still to focused on what WE think is better or what timing we think God should have. We’ve forgotten Job’s reminder that we came with nothing and it’s all God’s and we need to praise him no matter what.
I said I had two verses on blessings I wanted to read. The second passage I wanted to read comes from Ephesians and I would like to close with it.
Ephesians 3:20:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
So there you go, do you feel enlightened? One guy liked it so much he asked for the verses from Job. He told me he wanted to hang it on his wall. I found this rather amusing since he's homeless (so he doesn't really have a wall). I managed not to laugh at the irony and promptly gave him my copy!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Confined Books
August 7th my small group volunteered at the Prison Book Program in Quincy (I started this blog on the 8th, but haven't managed to get it out yet). It was a lot of fun. Some of the letters were heart wrenching and you wanted to help them the best that you could, whether it was searching high and low for a Catholic Bible or trying to determine whether a book on arthritis, sports injuries and bursitis or a book on Tai Chi would better suit someone looking for a book on stretching.
Of course, being a librarian, this totally pandered to my love of finding the perfect book for someone. It also pained me to know that these people can only get books from the Prison Book Program twice a year, that because of limited resources the program can only offer up to a little over a lb worth of books (even though some people are allowed up to 5 books at a time -- which is well over a lb) and the letters are on a 2 month back log AND since books are sent media mail it can take up to 2 months from the time we send them for them to get there.
The other thing that struck me that night was the concept of compassion vs. forgiveness and how different they really are. As I was reading the letters, my heart was moved and I felt so sorry for these people in this confined situation. I felt so badly that they had no access to books etc. I wanted to do whatever I could to help. The thing is, it's not like these people are political prisoners, or refugees, except for the odd false confession, or false imprisonment, most of these people have done something bad to be in jail --I went on a short tangent in my thought process and thought well they've done one thing wrong, they've all stolen remembering a great passage from the Kite Runner:
I mean I have a hard time forgiving just the little things people do to me. . . Of course, this all makes me think of my religion and how I say EVERY week "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" (or some variation). How I know the parable of the man forgiven a huge debt by the king who went out and demanded repayment from someone who owed him. I know all of this, I confess all of this, I believe all of this, but could I do it if called upon?
That's really all for this post. I really am still thinking about it from time to time, wondering how hardened my heart is when something is done to me, and how much I value the grace and the gift that God has given me and thinking about how much responsibility comes with accepting that gift. . . .
Of course, being a librarian, this totally pandered to my love of finding the perfect book for someone. It also pained me to know that these people can only get books from the Prison Book Program twice a year, that because of limited resources the program can only offer up to a little over a lb worth of books (even though some people are allowed up to 5 books at a time -- which is well over a lb) and the letters are on a 2 month back log AND since books are sent media mail it can take up to 2 months from the time we send them for them to get there.
The other thing that struck me that night was the concept of compassion vs. forgiveness and how different they really are. As I was reading the letters, my heart was moved and I felt so sorry for these people in this confined situation. I felt so badly that they had no access to books etc. I wanted to do whatever I could to help. The thing is, it's not like these people are political prisoners, or refugees, except for the odd false confession, or false imprisonment, most of these people have done something bad to be in jail --I went on a short tangent in my thought process and thought well they've done one thing wrong, they've all stolen remembering a great passage from the Kite Runner:
"Now, no matter what the mullah teaches, there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft. Do you understand that? When you kill a man, you steal a life," Baba said. "You steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. Do you see?"Then I got back on track and thought if I were raped, reading these letters would I feel just as sorry for a rapist? If I were the mother of a kidnapped child, could I be just as compassionate? If I were an abused wife or a family member of a murder victim could I muster anything but hate? Could I be as gracious as the little girl a couple years ago here in Boston who forgave the man who left her paralyzed?
I mean I have a hard time forgiving just the little things people do to me. . . Of course, this all makes me think of my religion and how I say EVERY week "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" (or some variation). How I know the parable of the man forgiven a huge debt by the king who went out and demanded repayment from someone who owed him. I know all of this, I confess all of this, I believe all of this, but could I do it if called upon?
That's really all for this post. I really am still thinking about it from time to time, wondering how hardened my heart is when something is done to me, and how much I value the grace and the gift that God has given me and thinking about how much responsibility comes with accepting that gift. . . .
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