If it's not one thing, it's another!!

My dad just emailed. My aunt fell down some stairs and broke two vertebrae, she's not sure she can fly next week.

Who saw that coming?!

I probably should have. I am TOTALLY Even Steven, I should have been worried the moment I found out my mom was okayed for take off. Sorry Auntie. . .

Today's Status Update

Yay, my mom is coming!!!!

Boo! We haven't managed to clean at all today (perhaps the massive amount of cereal we bought will mesmerize them so they don't notice how messy the house is -- who am I kidding? My mom will not be deterred).

We managed to buy the last of the supplies for our programs (I hope my bridesmaids realize how involved this project is going to be).

Um, I thought I had more big/fun things to announce. . .I'll keep you posted if I come up with another little thing to add :).

Update

• I managed to get some work done on our wedding program. It's not exactly what I'd hoped for (there were some sizing issues) but I think it will work out and be a fun memento for our guests.
• I finished our strong man shirt. It's not quite as cool as it was in my head, but it could have been WAY worse! (falling right in line with my new mantra "whatever, people will love it")
  
• I made kettle corn for a friend's birthday tomorrow.
• I paid our bills.
• Sean and I managed to finish some thank you notes (though I am sure we're facing tons more!).

Um, do you notice I'm just grasping at things to prove I did something with my night -- oh right, and and blogging instead of cleaning something. I've made no headway on cleaning, unless you count the half a coffee table I cleared off when doing something else. Ah well maybe the butterflies in the stomach will go away enough that I can actually fall asleep!

I'm Breezy

So I promised myself that our wedding was going to be laid back. That if we were calm, our guests would be calm and they would have a better time. . .

We've been good about not becoming recluses. We've accepted invitations out with friends, realizing that this time of engagement shouldn't all be one of hurry and busy work, but it should be savored and shared with those we love (not to mention, we love Chatham and apple picking in the fall :)).

My mother's health has been iffy for the last three months, but even that we've taken mostly in stride. Praying hard (she's specifically asked for prayer for the pain shooting down her left leg), thinking about alternative methods of projecting our wedding and joking about how it's a family tradition (my mother's parents missed her wedding too). I think the back and forth on that decision is starting to take its toll though.

Or, maybe it's the fact that not everyone sent in their rsvps on time and I made the chair rental for fewer chairs than we might need at this point. There's also the issue of where everyone will sleep in my STILL hoarder-esque house (and how many loads of sheets I am going to end up washing for what looks like a volleyball-type rotation schedule through the beds).

I've been trying to work on our program this week. It seems that the list of "required" items our pastor has given us for it will be impossible to fit in the little 3.5x11 folded note we planned on using for a program (and really, this program should be finished before next week when I no longer have access to publisher on off hours. . .).

Possibly what's getting to me is that we just found out that there's a qualifying race for the Boston Marathon going RIGHT THROUGH THE ZOO on our wedding day ("really That's kind of fun and unique," the laid back/breezy bride in me says). The fact that all parking and most roads surrounding the zoo are going to be closed is what's bothersome (my groom may or may not have had a meltdown about that as I calmly took the computer from him and emailed our zoo coordinator).

There are also these wedding nightmares that keep plaguing me (I probably brought that on myself what with scoffing at other brides about it). --I have to admit though, despite all the failures in my dream last night, the fact that we had a popcorn machine that also baked chocolate chip cookies and sort of flipped them out of the machine was pretty awesome, someone should come up with something like that :).

Whatever it is, though, I can't keep up this schedule of falling asleep at midnight or so and waking up around 6. It's killing me. . . I know that some people get less sleep (please don't try and comfort me with that). I am a girl who shines on 9 hours, a girl who occasionally sleeps 14 hours to re-charge (I might not have done that since college) and a girl who is usually tired on the 7 hours she usually gets. This new schedule of continued 6 hour sleep, not working. Perhaps our office could implement a nap time?

The sky is falling

It hasn't rained as much as it did in my last post, but it still feels like the sky is falling. So many little things have snowballed into one huge headache.

I have had a desire for a gin and tonic all summer. Tanqueray has done a good job with their bus-side advertising and I've become susceptible. A couple of weeks ago I dug out my Costco size bottle of gin and put it in the freezer. I haven't actually made a gin and tonic since I dug out the gin but tonight, four days into my slump of annoying things, I decided was the night! This is what I was faced with when I manged to get the freezer open:



So the trend continues. . . without Princess Leia here to free it, I am afraid it is doomed to stay in the freezer.

Remind Me Again Why I DON'T Live in Seattle?!?!

You guys, I cannot deal with today. The two silver linings I see are, we got to have a pleasant dinner out with our friend from NJ using a gift certificate given to us by another friend AND that the elevator at work was inspected YESTERDAY.

Today started with pouring rain, I say started but it was really just a continuation of weather from the past two days. I don't mind rain terribly I loved the weather Monday, I wasn't disappointed on Tuesday and today I was fine until 3/4 of the way into my walk where my pants were completely soaked through so that now my underwear was wet, my jacket had sprung leaks and I couldn't see because there was soo much water in my eyes. Still, I thought, it's not terrible, being wet is better than a lot of things. My socks, however, were only wet on top. Two doors down from my office, there was an unavoidable puddle. My feet were sopping. When I got into work I took off my shoes and there was standing water in them! I was still dripping, still having a hard time seeing from the water still pouring off me. I spent some quality time in the bathroom with a hair dryer, it didn't help much.

I was wet until about noon. At about 12:30 today our elevator stopped working. I feel like you guys might see where this is going. I didn't. I blithely thought the elevator people were fixing the issues the inspector had pointed out yesterday. After a few people stopped in to mention that the elevator wasn't working I went down to the basement still sure I'd find elevator people busily working. Why WOULDN'T I think that? We've put in Two new sump pumps since our last disaster. Well my friends, it turns out that two more sump pumps (for a total of three) is still not enough!! There were only two inches of standing water and it wasn't everywhere, so that's better than the four inches we had before, but still depressing.

After that fiasco my feet were wet again and they didn't dry out for the rest of the day. We met my friend, as I mentioned and it seemed like maybe today was looking up. You know, I sort of felt like the Facts of Life theme song was playing in my head.

When I got home tonight, there was an impressive little bulge in the ceiling. Like the basement, it to was far less impressive than the absolute low point of ceiling falling in on me this spring, but it still wasn't great. Once poked, the water was about three inches high in the five gallon bucket we held under it. needless to say, the theme song in my head has changed slightly.

Hello Again

So it's been well over a month since I last posted. I hate blogs like that. I had high hopes for blogging fun little details about our wedding, but not too many, lest you were actually coming so there would still be fun surprises left for you when you came (and if you are planning on coming either send in your rsvp or do it here online you've got t-minus 23 days to get it in!). Clearly, the blogging hasn't happened. We did manage to get a fair amount of projects completed a few weekends ago. My friend (and bridesmaid) Sam was the catalyst behind that, if she hadn't been here, I would have just crawled into bed that weekend and not come out. I caught Hand Foot and Mouth Disease, a mild case, but still wasn't feeling great. Yes, that is a childhood disease and yes, I did have it when I was a kid. Apparently there are three strains of viruses that cause HFMD and I didn't have the strain common on the East Coast.

In other mildly depressing news, my mother is back in the hospital. While it started out looking just as terrible as the last time, two years ago, it is starting to look up. It seems that this time they're fighting her infection and not causing her potassium levels to plummet as well. Her pain isn't being managed incredibly well, but as the swelling has gone down in her spinal column the pain there has righted itself some. So it's still touch and go, but it looks like things are improving. You can pray that they continue on this path so that she makes it to our wedding!

Speaking of health news, one of our friends from The Common died since I last posted here. He had been with us since the beginning and was quite a character. I should probably say cast of characters since one of his favorite things to do was recite all the parts from the Wizard of Oz in a sort of one man show. There is a memory pole up for him in the common right now near the visitor's center, which I think he'd like. He spent a fair amount of time near there. One of his proudest moments (perhaps second only to the joy of getting housing) was when he got a job as a tour guide for one of the walking tours around Boston. He even gave our group a free tour once. He was one of those people who was always hungry for attention and when he got it, he truly shined. He was interviewed for the Metro at one point and I can still see him waving the paper, telling us about it. I post a terrible scan I took of it below (the only copy I have left, sadly) as sort of a memorial here on this blog. . . He's the one in the middle.

Finally, in updating this blog, I thought I would mention that tonight I am giving the sermon on The Common. My family will tell you that I put off writing it till the last minute (which is true) but I've been thinking about it for several months. Out on the Common we meet a lot of people who feel like that their lives have strayed so far that they cannot talk to God, they are too bad or too worthless for God. Here is the sermon I plan on giving tonight (please pray that it reaches those who need to hear that God loves them and wants them. . .pray that the words tonight are all God's and not mine):

I was reading a book a few months ago about Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints. I don't know how much you know about the religion but it's pretty extreme. I was really upset by a minor detail in the book. The woman writing the book was talking about a sin she committed that she was convinced was so bad that Christ couldn't forgive it. She quotes Brigham young saying, "There are sins that men commit for which they cannot receive forgiveness [by the blood of Christ]. . . She talks about her sin saying: "And now I needed to atone for my despicable crime. A price had to be paid, and Jesus hadn't paid it -- not for such a weighty sin as this. . .

I found this upsetting because nowhere, that I am aware of, in the Bible does it ever make a list of sins that are so bad that if you repent and ask forgiveness of Jesus he won't or can't forgive you. Also, if Jesus' blood atonement wasn't sufficient enough for all sins whose blood or repentance would be good enough?

On the 12th of this month, The Onion, a fake newspaper ran an article essentially titled "If I Hadn't Found Jesus, I'd Feel Pretty Crappy About My Crimes." As with most of their stuff, It was an over the top article, here's an excerpt:

The first few months behind bars were the worst of my life. Every night I'd stare into the darkness, waiting for the nightmares, waiting to hear those horrible screams all over again. Even here behind these thick penitentiary walls, there was no hiding from what I'd done to that poor family.
Then, one night, it happened: I lay alone in my cell, my only companion the visions of wickedness that filled my head. Suddenly, there was a light, and somehow the light spoke to me. It was the voice of Jesus Christ. He told me he had died for the sins of mankind and all could find peace through his salvation. Was I ready to repent?
Uh, let me think about that for a sec. Yup!
It was a stroke of unbelievable luck. Here I thought I'd spend the rest of my life agonizing over that night I broke into a random house and methodically tortured all five of its residents, but Jesus was like, "Nah, you're good." He took all those years I expected to wallow in suffocating guilt . . . and wiped them away in a jiff.

Clearly the article was written to be funny, but it’s not terribly off the mark. It may miss the point about genuine repentance and striving for righteousness once you’ve been forgiven but Jesus' forgiveness is radical. It's unbelievable, and it's true.

In 1 Peter 2:21-25 it says: For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, 22WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH;
23and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. 25For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. Jesus died for our sins, ALL OF OUR SINS while we were still sinning.

John Piper, a famous evangelist says of this passage:

We need to linger here. Do you believe this about your own sins and about the sins of your brothers and sisters? The implications of this for us individually and as a church are huge. It means that, if we will, we can leave the past with God. We can say, "I trust you, Jesus, that all my sins; all the ones that are public and all the ones that are private, all of them, have been lifted, borne, suffered for, and therefore removed from me. I bear them no more. I do not carry their guilt into the future with me."
Let this sink in. You do not have to carry your sins or be burdened by them. You do not have to wake up with guilt or go to bed with guilt. You can bank your hope on the commitment of God in Jesus: "Christ bore our sins in his body on the cross."
But notice again clearly what God's aim is in this guilt-lifting death of Jesus on the cross (v. 24): " . . . that we might die to sin and live to righteousness." This corresponds with the purpose mentioned in verse 21: "that you might follow in his steps." Following in Jesus' steps is the same as living to righteousness.
In both cases, the vicarious suffering of Jesus in verse 21, and the substitutionary death of Jesus in verse 24 are given as the means that God intends to use to make us righteous like his Son.

It is important to note, that Jesus is not unfamiliar with our temptations, in Hebrews 4:15-16 says: For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I want to finish with these thoughts, Jesus did die for all sins, no matter what you have done, by truly repenting and turning to Jesus you can approach the throne of God in confidence. There is no sin no series of sins even, that Christ doesn’t have the power to forgive. No one is so bad that they are beyond Christ’s healing power. You can always turn to Jesus in confidence, knowing that his mercy and grace is sufficient for you.

In our church, before we take communion, we recite part of Psalm 51, a Psalm David (God’s Beloved) wrote after the prophet Nathan had confronted him when David had committed adultery with Bathesheba. I’d like us to recite that together now as we begin our prayer time:

Psalm 51: 1-12
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Let us pray.

In Other, Not So New News. . .

I was looking at my sad little blog and realized that I had totally left you all hanging about where we were having our rehearsal dinner!

I'm really excited with our final decision. While it does not donate to charity like our first, most awkward, choice, it does provide yummy food at almost the same cost as our wedding cook out. I need to sign the contract still, so I probably shouldn't be as attached as I am already, but you know how that goes.

We've decided on DRUM ROLL PLEASE. . . . . .

Midwest Grill in Inman Square! For those of you who are too lazy to click over, let me provide you with the highlight: "A seemingly endless stream of waiters will circulate with skewers full of meat, fresh from the grill. You'll be offered as much as you like of any item. We suggest you dig right in, because before you know it, another waiter will be offering another choice and so on…" Did you read that? ALL YOU CAN EAT GRILLED MEAT BROUGHT TO YOUR TABLE ON SKEWERS! What could be more fun and more filling than that?

So if you've gotten an invitation and you'd be coming from out of town (sorry, guys we had to come up with a way to limit the costs somehow) there's no need to sit on the fence anymore, you can eat the price of your plane ticket in meat!

UPDATE

Tonight I was in the living room and I found a magazine that we had just gotten a subscription to sitting on the coffee table. I brought it back to where my boy was and waved it around saying "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS CAME IN THE MAIL?!?!?" (yes, it may have sounded a little shrill)

He said "what are you talking about? It was on the coffee table this morning."

I said "You know I don't go in the living room in the morning!"

He said "I assumed you put it there, I didn't bring it in"

I said "Neither Did I!!"

He said "Maybe the Post Office really IS playing with you!!"

So yeah, not going to win any awards for screenwriting, but I might just have a case against the post office now!

P.S. Chris, you're totally invited to the wedding, I didn't change my mind at all. I put the invitation in the mailbox this morning so as long as it doesn't end up back on my coffee table, we're golden!

Oh you guys. . . .

I was going, eventually, to put up photos of our invitations. My boy worked terribly hard on them and they were so cute. I thought I would wait till we sent them out to everyone to post them here. We sent them out weeks ago now (June 10th to be exact). So we could totally post pictures online. We just haven't taken any yet.

Last night, as I was wallowing in self pity over my summer cold, I looked over at my kleenex laden nightstand and realized there were some invitations there. I knew we'd held back some of our invitations to hand deliver so I just assumed they were those. I picked them up anyway because my boy had a cache of the hand deliverables down by our front door and I thought they should all be together. Then I noticed they were all stamped. They were the invitations for my three cousins!!!! For some reason their envelopes had printed badly so my boy re-printed them and then, apparently, I NEVER SENT THEM!!!!!

I had thought it was weird that my cousin hadn't responded because I had heard she was tentatively thinking about coming out for the wedding and I was all excited about it and simply waiting for confirmation through a little fuchsia envelope in my box. Folks, I'm here to tell you, it was never going to come.

A long time ago my dad had a really crazy customer. One day she ran out and accosted him. She said "I mailed this letter weeks ago and today I found it on my coffee table!" The implication being my dad had seen the letter in the mailbox, had gone in her house and set it back on her coffee table. He tried to smooth things over but she was insistent that it was the post office's fault. Think that line of reasoning would work for me?

Rorschach Billboard

I know it's not just me, because Megz and my boy also thought this billboard was all sorts of wrong, but the people in New Hampshire don't seem to be up in arms over them. We had to take our own picture because I couldn't find anyone blogging about strangely suggestive engagement ring ads. I haven't marked this not safe for work since, you know, they're out in the open in NH :). Let me know, is it an unfortunately colored couch, or is this billboard verging on the inappropriate?

It's Been One Week Since You Looked at Me

Or at least since the Doctor last looked at me. Last night I couldn't sleep til 4am. My belly hurt but I'd tried Aleve for the first time since the surgery (I mentioned that Tylenol does nothing and I was trying to not take my big pain pills since it's been a week) and I was committed to it for the next 12 hours. This morning I woke up at 8:30 -- far too early for a 4am bedtime. My belly still hurt but I had an hour left of the Aleve. . . . I helped my boy do some dishes and tried going back to bed at 9:30 at which point I could take more painkillers but whatever had pulled out of place during the night (there was a coughing incident) had switched back after the dishes but now I couldn't sleep.

Um, yeah, that entire paragraph was boring. That's sort of how my life has been lately. Strangely, it's occupied me a lot even though I can see it's not fascinating to the outside world. . . .

Last night, in my bout of insomnia, I contacted four places about a rehearsal dinner (or lunch, cause my boy and I are starting to worry about money -- perhaps we should have worried about that before we bought a 2010 Honda CRV). I only have price quotes back from one place and the cost is twice as much as our wedding catering, so we'll see how this all pans out. Here are the places I contacted last night, in no particular order:

Ristorante Fiore

The Elephant Walk

UpStairs on the Square

Maggianos

Finally, the North End branch of The Daily Catch is one of our favorite restaurants. We've heard that there's some difference between the various branches, but the Harborwalk does do functions and they're kind enough to post their pricing on their website, which makes me love them. Problem is, our two favorite dishes are seafood (good since it's a seafood restaurant) but we'd like a meat option for those in our party that won't eat fish, and if you upgrade to the three entree option it costs an extra $24, maybe we could work some compromise out though so let's tentatively put them on the list too.

So maybe the kettubah signing location will work itself out. I'll keep you posted.

Galling

On FRIENDS, there's an episode where Chandler has his "nubbin" removed and it appears to remove his funny as well. I've commented before on how my blog is not as funny or interesting as it was originally, but today it's worse than ever. I have tried to write a whole blog post on the fact that I've been MIA for the last week due to a saga culminating in the removal of my gallbladder. I swear there are some puns and some jokes in there somewhere but I can't come up with them. I wish it was because the drugs were so good, but they're not. They didn't give me many and the only supplemental pain med I can take is Tylenol. I believe Tylenol is Latin for PLACEBO THAT DOES NOTHING.

While I am really grateful that the surgery went well, I am sad because this was the weekend we'd set aside as our weekend to clean, plus we're missing a friend's choir concert and our pastor's last Sunday. He's preaching on Philippians 1-4 today a different sermon for each service, we were going to make a day of it going to each one. The silver lining was going to be listening to it live streaming, but this message greeted us this morning was: ATTENTION LIVE STREAMING Is UNAVAILABLE TODAY Due to a Lack of Internet Connectivity in the Meetinghouse.

Best laid plans and all that. . .

Ketubah

See and you all thought being engaged might mean I blogged more! At least I haven't lost my personality completely now that I am an engaged woman. I am blogging about wedding stuff again though (so maybe I am becoming a little obsessed -- becoming, ha, who are we kidding?).

When we first started wedding planning (and by that I mean week two when I had come up with two plans, our break up plan and our getting married plan), my boy and I decided we'd like to have a formal rehearsal dinner with all of our out of town guests, our family and a few very close friends who live in Boston. We had known all along we'd like a casual wedding where we could invite everyone we know and love, but we also wanted something a little more formal, for those closest to us.

I had heard about Quaker weddings from a friend of a friend and I thought they were a lovely idea. In the Quaker wedding ceremony there is no pastor leading the service, it's an unprogrammed service where the friends surround the couple and as the Spirit leads they say blessings, prayers and bible verses. I thought it sounded absolutely lovely. A perfect way to start a marriage. Also, my boy is from the Quaker state, so I felt like it was a little nod to his roots (even if his family isn't Quaker and they're from Amish country --they're not Amish either). It also reminded me of what the ketubah signing has evolved into for a lot of Jewish weddings; an opportunity to gather together with a small number of close friends and family in an intimate moment prior to the whirlwind of the ceremony.

It turns out that Quakers also have a wedding contract that they have signed by all those present and which they hang in the center of their home just like Jewish families have for generations as well. My boy and I want a ketubah (I'm calling it that even if it's more similar to a Quaker marriage certificate for us because we're Christians). Well really I want a ketubah and my boy is very supportive of all things honoring my Jewish (on the wrong side) ancestry. I think that may stem from his love of Challah, noodle kugel, and latkes, but you know what? I think that that would just make my people even more happy. My people are all about the food ya know.

We want a ketubah hanging in our home to show the world the commitment we've made. We want it to remind us (when we're less than thrilled with each other) about that commitment. We want the ketubah, hanging with all its signatures, to remember all those people who were there with us when we made that commitment and who also committed to support us.

When we started thinking about a getting a ketubah, we thought back on something we'd seen in one of the art galleries in Rockport, MA. It was microcaligraphy done by Leon Azoulay, he creates art illustrating parts of the Torah or important Jewish prayers/blessings and underlying it all in tiny Hebrew lettering is the entire book of the Torah, prayer or blessing. The problem was, that as amazing as they all were we weren't sure that any that were meaningful for a wedding/marriage were something we'd want to hang in our house for the rest of our lives. . . .

When we were in the same gallery we were struck by an artist, Charles Fazzino, who did amazing 3-d work. It's pop art and it was a lot of fun. Also, it turns out, though he's not Jewish, his love of Jewish related things came through food too (so how could we not love him?):

"My Jewish art collection actually started with my discovery of Kosher food,"
remembers Fazzino. "I went to the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan and I was
always discovering new restaurants, but as a struggling artist, I couldn't
afford the finer ones. That didn't matter anymore once I discovered the delis on
the Lower East Side. I LOVED them! I was soon exhibiting in the Village art
shows and thought the Jewish delis would be an appealing subject, and they were.
I began incorporating entire streets in order to capture the unique culture of
the area. Eating the food and painting the street scenes led to more research on
my part into the people who made this wonderful food. That, in turn, led to my
growing knowledge and appreciation of Judaism. I didn't just wake up one day and
decide to paint the Star of David. I have spent years researching and
appreciating the Jewish faith, and my Jewish collectors seem to appreciate my
view of their religion through a gentile's eyes."

Unfortunately, though he does do ketubah's and he has a lot of fun art work, we're not alone in being charmed by his work. A ketubah he created was apparently featured on platinum weddings. We are not in the platinum wedding league. . . Even the non-commissioned items seem above our, very limited, price range, so while we might be tempted to get one of his works because we think we could live with it for the rest of our lives, we can't really afford the price. So we're still sort of stuck on the Ketubah front.

We're also stuck on the Quaker marriage/rehearsal dinner front. I was really excited when I found out about Elephant Walk having a "benefit restaurant." We're having a circus theme for our wedding so Elephant Walk sounds like it fits in and we love benefiting something in the process of doing something we'd already do. It's sad that we've worked really hard so that our guests can get everywhere via public transportation and the benefit restaurant is out of town, but we could probably figure something out. What made me even more sad though, was when I realized that we couldn't do a benefit dinner. I mean it's perfect pricing and half of the cost goes to a charity of your choice!!!! Unfortunately, it's only good on Mondays and as much as I'd like to finagle something with our wedding, the only Monday we have to work with when everyone will be here, would be the Monday after our wedding and then it's not really a rehearsal dinner anymore, more like a redundant dinner. . . .

We keep putting off worrying about these two fairly important facets of our wedding celebration figuring it will work itself out. I do have a nagging voice telling me that we don't have that long to plan. Decisions need to be made. Commitments formalized. You think I'm speaking figuratively; I'm not. While she hasn't said these exact phrases, especially about the two topics I've mentioned, my sister has actually been the one to make me the most anxious about the impending deadline of our wedding! So if you have rehearsal dinner ideas of kettubah's you think we could live a lifetime with, let me know. . .

Ring Shots

As always, a lot has happened since my last post. Rain last week caused flooding at work and more leaking at home (you guys are so lucky I waited till this week to post, cause seriously as horrible as it was, I found omfg omfg omfg becoming a mantra interrupted in brief intervals by, God forgive me, but omfg, omfg, wait, please forgive me!). Rain this week did not prove to cause any problems at either place.

We had a tough time getting a pastor to agree to marry us (and I don't even think that it's cause they knew my new mantra or cause my boy and I appear to live in sin -- I told someone that we really live like roommates and he said mhmm, my wife and I do too), seriously, we went through about four pastors before we found one that took pity on us, but now we're all set on that front.

I am currently in panic mode about where all of our out of town guests will stay! The perfect B&B I found already has two rooms booked and they're down to like six rooms or so. . . Hotels here cost a FORTUNE!

Anyway, all that to say, I totally owe you guys a lot more information, but until then, I'll leave you with these ring shots my friend took.

The More Things Change. . .

I am not a good photographer, but I thought that a pictorial study might be better than the thousand four letter words I have to say about the subject.

Let's just say, my bed is covered in a tarp at this point and for the second time in two weeks I am sleeping on that uncomfortable bed in the living room (and yes, we have a worlds more comfortable futon in the office, but I am too lazy to move stuff around so I can pull it out). Word on the street is a new contractor is being called tomorrow.

Engaging Information For Once

I have at least two, if not three half finished posts that I never managed to get put up. They discuss things like the ceiling falling in again after it was plastered; how uncomfortable our pull out couch is and a woman on etsy who went postal (sorry dad) when I gave her two postive ratings and one neutral (apparently I should have just eaten her baby, it couldn't have been worse than the devastation left in the wake of a neutral comment).

I was going to stay up late on Saturday and write a post for you, then I was going to write one on Sunday. . . . You see where this is going right? It's Wednesday and I am just now getting something out for you. My boy and I got engaged this weekend. Probably you've already heard the story, but if not, here it is below (including my encouragement to all of you non-homeowners to get a house NOW!!!!!!!!):

We were trying to save enough money to get a house under contract by the end of April (you know for the 8,000 incentive -- which if you can do would be brilliant you have to be under contract by the end of April, but you can close in June giving you two more months to save and then if you can get an fha loan you only have to give 3.5% down which for a lot of houses is the same as the tax incentive -- fha lets you use the incentive as a down payment as well -- see we did our research) anyway, we decided to focus on a wedding first and set aside the house plan.
When we had this discussion my boy said, I was going to ask you if you wanted to get married on President's day weekend but YOU wanted to look at a house (it was noon on the third day of the weekend, he was still in his pjs that day and the house was a half mile walk away, it's not like it was in PA). Then he said he was also planning on proposing on our church retreat, but I didn't go (I'm not sorry btw). I am unclear why he didn't just ask when he was giving me a list of all the times he would have asked but I messed it up, but whatever, the plan was set I was no longer focusing on the houses I was pining for. . .

This past Saturday, we went up to Halibut Point so he could take photos and then finally at the last spot just sat down next to me and said, "will you marry me" and shoved a ring box at me. So yeah, not a big story really and I am unclear still, on why an hour walk in our neighborhood ruined a plan like that, but you know, whatever.

We went to our friend's father's house that evening for a dinner party with my boy's small group and they were far more excited and sweet than I was (I think this may actually be true always, I don't think that Saturday was special).

When we arrived at the house, I stayed in the car talking to my mom while my boy went in ahead of me. About 10 min later I came in and was surprised that our friend didn't say congrats or ask to see the ring (oh, right, for those of you interested, it's an emerald cut solitaire with knife edge band). So I said "did you tell her?" and he said, "no, I thought you might want to." So basically my boy had been in the house with our friend 10 min and didn't mention the engagement once. He just cryptically said "she's talking to her mom." That's my boy. When the rest of his small group got there and found out, one of the women said, "That's so great! We've been praying for this!" I kind of think that is hysterical. The women in his small group meet separately and I assume that's where they've been praying about it, but I like to imagine them praying about it in their normal small group meetings right there in front of my boy. "Dear Lord, please, please let them get engaged!!"

My boy, unbeknownst to me, solicited addresses from a number of people earlier this week. One of those people was the pastor that leads our Thursday night group. The pastor's response to the email was: "About dang time!" Sort of the southern equivalent of my boy's mother's response of "well, it's about time."

I have a friend who was a weddingbee (remember a long time ago I mentioned reading it all the time cause I get so bored?). Another friend asked if I thought I would become a weddingbee now. The idea of weddingbee is that women blog the details of their wedding planning etc. If you've noticed, I am a terrible blogger. I think the world of wedding bloggers can breathe a sight of relief that I will not be joining their ranks. Perhaps I'll write a post or two about wedding planning, but more likely than not, I'll just add to the number of half finished posts.

Monthly Update

For all of you eagerly awaiting an update on the ceiling situation, the landlord has put on two coatings of plaster and will, hopefully, finish the last one this week. So that's exciting. I'm hoping it doesn't all come crashing back down in the next rainstorm.

Saturday was my boy's and my 4 year anniversary. We celebrated by cooking at the grand opening of the soup kitchen where we volunteer. We were told the turn out for breakfast was huge but apparently everyone filled up before lunch cause there wasn't much of a crowd when we made it downstairs.

I have also fallen in love with another house (well I was sort of in love with a summer home up in NH with three acres of land, but realized that we couldn't afford it and it got no tax incentive, so that dream is on hold for awhile -- though not completely forgotten, if we rented it out I am convinced we could break even on it, but whatever). The last time I was in love with a house I kept it a secret and would only show it to those of you who privately messaged me, and, you know, those of you I send every link to every house to. This time, I am fairly convinced the house will sell out from under us, so even though I am pretty set on wanting it, and excited about the size of the yard and the driveway that looks large enough to someday build a garage, not to mention the two block walk to one of our favorite restaurants, I am also willing to share it with all of you, my loyal readers. Here she is in all her glory.

We're signed up for a first time home buyers class and, as of today, we're in big time saver mode. If you wanna pray that we get it, we'd (okay really mostly me, my boy is on board, but not nearly as excited as I am) really appreciate it.

Okay, I realize this isn't the greatest post, but I have a terrible headache and it's hard to get back on the writing regularly schedule. . .

Remember?

A long time ago, way back in July in fact, I posted about the ceiling in my room falling in. The landlord's son came and took a look and was talking about all sorts of crazy tests involving thermal monitors etc. that might have to be done to figure out where they leak was coming from and then they'd get the leak fixed and they'd re-plaster my ceiling.

Nothing happened on that front. Months passed, my boy's family came to visit and we put his parents in my room because even though the ceiling's falling in, it's still the nicest room in the house. October came and went. Then in November there were a series of really bad rainstorms and more plaster and more wetness. So we contacted the landlords again. They had someone come out to clean the gutters and to look at the windows, but they couldn't do anything about the roof because at this point there was snow and ice about.

As I have mentioned in the last couple of posts, I am sick. Tonight, I came home right after work because I figured I'd be no help cooking a meal and I shouldn't stand out on a street corner for a couple of hours. When I got to my bedroom, I noticed even more plaster had fallen down and the ceiling is wet again.

It is unclear to me if it is wet because the sun has been out lately and snow is melting off the roof and coming in wherever the leak is, or if, contrary to all previous inquiries, it has something to do with something going on on the third floor. It seems unlikely that there would be a kitchen or a bathroom above my bedroom on the floor above, since the plumbing seems to be piggy backed in one area of the house (the kitchen and the bathroom being situated near each other in our apartment), but I find it terribly hard to believe that there's not some evidence up on the third floor of this terrible leak that's occurring down here on my ceiling. . . .

Also, now my parents are coming to visit and the eyesore that was here when my boy's parents came to visit has almost doubled in size. And it's all well and good for my boy's parents to sleep in a room with a horrible ceiling for one night, but these are my parents and it's six nights! You (if you're not my boy) see my problem here, I'm sure :).

Ear Drums, the Best Percussion Instument

We just watched an episode of Little People Big World where Zach had ear surgery. It brought back flash backs for me. In a follow up check up the doctor said I am just going to put a speculum in here and I cringed and flailed just as Zack cringed on tv. I fainted during Million Dollar Baby in the scene where she's in the hospital, not any fighting, just the scene where she is hooked up to all the tubes, and I thought I might crash again with the whole ear surgery thing here. . .I managed to make it through, but the squirmy feeling at the bottom of the spine is still there if I think about it too much.

My ears aren't too hot today either. I am still fighting the cold, after Saturday's bright "I can breathe" moment, things got stuffier again so Sunday I spent all day in bed and today I spent most of the day in bed (luckily there was a Golden Girls marathon on one channel and a Little People Big World marathon on another). Since I am still stuffy and my ears are still plugged, I am looking for a miracle tonight similar to the curse that started all this. Perhaps I'll feel perfectly fine as of 3am.

Sick

I got a cold as of 3pm on Thursday. It seriously came on as if it were scheduled. 3pm and I had a very bad headache and my ears filled with fluid and my nose got stuffy. Friday was dreadful. Saturday though hasn't been nearly as awful. I am still sick, but somehow staying in bed all day and remembering to take decongestants every four hours has cleared my sinuses enough that I can breathe through my nose again. It's really exciting news here!

Health leads me to my next topic, (I say that as if the entire point of this post WASN'T to show you this). My boy found the following schedule for the Central Pennsylvania Blood Bank. This tips the scale slightly in favor of moving to Central Pennsylvania. Any place that can boast giving Seltzers Smokehouse Bologna for your blood is pretty high up in my book! I don't actually give blood, but if I could be promised more than some cookies, maybe I'd be more inclined to get over my extreme fear of needles.

Harrowing Dreams Continue

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night from a horrible dream. I was minding my own business in the dream when suddenly we were driving in a really scary section of town (and when I say town think film noir city). Not only was it clearly the projects, but we were in my car where the locks don't work very well anymore and there weren't any streetlights on and no lights in any of the apartment buildings looming large all around us. We were really nervous and could feel, but couldn't necessarily see and I don't remember hearing anything actually just an erie silence as if the entire city were about to pounce, crimes occurring all around us.

We made it through the city and out onto the other side and it turned out I was narrating what was going on, I heard myself say: "So then we were in Florida but it turned out it was execution season, so we ended up being at a mass hanging. . ." Next thing I know we're walking into an old building, it looks like it may have been a factory, with big open empty rooms with very thick wooden beams and stone walls. We're taken up to a room upstairs where there are about 12 people who are about to be hanged. They're currently just sitting up in the room with a psychiatrist chatting fairly easily, and pleasantly, not looking like violent criminals at all. There are a couple of women that get in a little spat, but then make up quickly because they decide that since they're going to be hanged soon, it's not worth it to fight. One of the women had a clear pencil bag with a lot of paper clips and some rubber bands and a couple of dollars and I thought about her parents who would get that when she was hanged. That that was what they would have to remember their daughter by.

I don't know what finished the conversations, but it was clear that the hanging was supposed to start soon and I freaked out --none of them did, just me. My boy escorted me out of the room and then I blacked out and the next thing that happened in the dream was that I was awakened with sliced onions under my nose. The psychiatrist was baffled by my reaction and suggested that I be excused from watching all of those people be hanged.

You guys, I haven't read that website I told you about that has the last words of people who are about to receive capital punishment since I told you about it back at the beginning of November! Even when I read that website, I suffered no ill effects on my sleep. Seriously, I think this series of dreams is simply stemming from my insane unhappiness at work. Clearly, the whole blog series on random alternatives to this life are not helping enough. I am hoping a long weekend will.

I Like You a Latke

You guys, the New York Times was discussing a kimchi pancake today and they said: "Kunjip’s pancake [is] similar in texture to a hearty latke." Don't you think that's a sign? I make a good latke, clearly the stars are aligning for me to transfer that talent to making kimchi pancakes with my own, home grown giant cabbage kimchi!

I'm In LOVE!

Okay guys, I was totally not going to mention this because a. it sounds like a new year's resolution, and we've talked about that before and how February is the worst month in the world because we all come crashing down off new year's resolution highs and we realize we were the same people we were before the new year's resolution (which yeah, yeah, blah blah blah we should love ourselves as we are etc. etc. --I certainly hope you're not reading a blog called getbitter and planning on saying crap like that and not getting flamed) and b. because I am thirty some years old and I have had highs and lows, but never has a diet plan stuck and let's be honest day one and a half in isn't an indicator that one will so why share anything with the world, but I love this program online so I thought I would share it with you even though it's only day 1.5 of me entering items and in all likelihood it won't last a week.

I know that this picture is tiny and I am really sorry, perhaps I'll try to be a better blogger at some point and try and zoom in for you, but right now I can't. What you're looking at in tiny tiny format is the really cool screen on your personalized page from thedailyplate.com (the picture is linked so you can make your own account if you want). I totally get that most people don't like journaling and it's annoying to try and remember what you ate, let alone how much, but so far this is fun and effective (remember it is day 1.5 people).

On the top right corner, you can see a little water bottle, for every glass of water you drink you get to add to the bottle and it fills up till it congratulates you on drinking water (what can I say, I am even excited when a credit card machine says approved, maybe I didn't get enough affirmation as a kid, but I love the water droplet saying congratulations).

Below that is a little pie graph with information on what percentage of what you ate was carbs, protein and fat (can you tell I ate an avocado today -- red is fat).

The section underneath has customized meals. You can click off a series of items you ate, rice, beans, squash, ham steak, and group it together so that next time you eat it you can just select "rice and beans" (or whatever you named it). There is a section below the customized meals that has the individual components you ate recently so you can simply click and add them instead of having to search for them each time. This has a lovely feature that you can organize alphabetically or by frequency.

Slightly above the widest section of the page it tells you approximately how many calories you have left for the day. The widest section is reserved for the food you've consumed. You can look at the nutritional values at a glance (calories, fiber, protein etc). Also, when you add an item, the program will sometimes suggest a similar item, that's better for you, so you can make more informed choices in the future. Below the wide section is another run down of the calories you've consumed so far, fat protein etc. and what percentage of your daily intake of each they represent, 94% of your protein for the day etc.

There is also an exercise feature where you can search various activities for calories burned (including washing dishes for a church function 200 some calories an hour people) and the site will track all that for you as well (I haven't used that part yet).

Finally, for people willing to share more information I believe there are ways to post the information to your facebook account and other options including friends through the site where you can hold each other accountable etc.

I realize that this may be a boring post, and that this site may not thrill you, but I have really enjoyed using it so far (all 1.5 days) and since it's free I thought I would share!

Someone's Been Sleeping In My Bed

Or rather, barging in on my dreams. This weekend I woke up from a terrifying dream where a bear was rushing toward my house (we lived in Palmer in this dream). To make matters worse, our dog was on a lead outside and the bear was swerving to get him. The next morning, I told my boy about how I frantically opened the door and struggled to get our jack russell off his lead before the bear could come up and crash through our sliding glass door.

My boy said: "You should have known right then that it was a dream!" I was confused and said "Because we wouldn't have sliding glass doors in the wilderness? Or because the whole bear charging the house scenario was a little too The Great Outdoors (skip to 1:24)?" He said: "No, of course not, the fact that we had a little dog should have been a tip off!" I said, "well jack russells are kind of sporty, it's feasible we'd have one." My boy just shook his head and muttered something about small dogs and sporty and ridiculous. . .

Go Ahead, Have A Cow

My friend Christina introduced me miniature cows awhile ago. While I thought they were darling, I didn't really expect to have one. Since we're talking about the dream still, don't you think one of these babies would be perfect?!

My mother has always said that Jersies are the most beautiful cows, and of course she's right. I mean come on, they have the longest lashes and beautiful brown eyes with golden coats. Go look at that link and find Louise and tell me your heart doesn't break a little at her cuteness!!

Having a cow could provide some natural fertilizer for our plants and maybe a little cream for my coffee (am I reading that right are they saying those little cows provide 6 gallons of milk a day?). I think this plan is a keeper.

The Time Has Come

When I was little, my grandfather used to recite these lines from the Walrus and the Carpenter:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things:Of shoes--and
ships--and sealing-wax--Of cabbages--and kings--And why the sea is boiling
hot--And whether pigs have wings."

I was thinking about them a lot today. About how perhaps they could be a mission statement for our new farm, or at the very least, be used in our once a year whole pig roast accompanied with all the sauerkraut varieties we'll be making.

Since I typed out my current wild dream yesterday, I've thought about it more. I am concerned that I have now worked myself up into such a frenzy I'll be terribly crushed when I come crashing down from this dream. Another friend suggested that since the cabbages in Alaska really are giant we could also make kimchi (another favorite of my boy). I think it sounds brilliantly fun (though smelly).

You can go here to find recipes and learn about the history of kimchi (you know what else there is even a kimchi museum). This summer we went to a Korean first birthday at KumGangSan and my boy was sorely tempted by these huge plastic tubs they had of kimchi in various states, we briefly considered buying one just because it was such a great size (and they did make a particularly good kimchi), but with our new plan, we could have our own giant tubs and make other people jealous! It looks like we could even go here and try out the techniques before committing to a whole big processing system: http://store.therawdiet.com/pisaandkimch.html

Pork and sauerkraut apparently brings good luck for the new year among the PA Dutch, at least that's what my boy's family (and the post I linked to yesterday) say. I think that we could start an annual New Year's whole pig roast and sauerkraut buffet. Someone suggested that New Year's in Alaska might be cold for a whole pig roast and perhaps we should do it in the summer. I said, it doesn't bring good luck in the summer, besides, the summer will be reserved for giant homemade bratwurst and sauerkraut barbecues!

With my new plan though, we not only have to set aside the issue of money, jobs (though I remembered I vaguely know two architects, perhaps my boy could work for one of them?!), and my dislike of winter, but also set aside my fear of canning. . . besides that, this plan is brilliant. I mean really, don't you think that having 5 acres of peonies and five acres of giant cabbages would make a beautiful mix?

Don't think you've heard the end of this. Oh, no, the floodgates are open people, I'll be chattering about my calling to garden, for a lot longer.

Ennui

Lin Yutang said: "Probably the difference between man and the monkeys is that the monkeys are merely bored, while man has boredom plus imagination."

So I usually only blog when I am bored or annoyed. I was unbearably unhappy at work today. So much so that on my lunch hour I spent time searching for another job. I cannot handle the social dynamics at work. It's so frustrating sometimes. In the last few months, I've had a couple of dreams that include me quitting my job. As you know, I have also been unhappy generally and have felt pulled somewhere else, I just can't figure out where.

A friend suggested that perhaps blogging my ideas for alternative realities may help the build-up of unhappiness. Awhile ago, I wrote about a house I wanted but I wouldn't share the link because it was too dear to me. That house has since sold (shockingly, not to me). So I've decided to share my insane dreams with you all from now on.

Today, my big plan when I couldn't find anyone hiring was to buy a house (still have no down payment mind you) in Palmer, Alaska and start growing peonies . People on weddingbee.com are always moaning about how they cannot get peonies in the middle of summer because they're not in season. I thought I was brilliant for coming up with the idea of growing them in Alaska. When I was in college, I would love it. It would be lilac season in Michigan and then when I got home to Alaska it would be lilac season all over again because Alaska's summer was about a month delayed. Clearly, I could use that same theory for my peony business!!

When I was home this past summer my dad mentioned a family friend had considered going into the peony business. So perhaps I should have realized that my brilliant idea wasn't so unique/earth shattering. What I didn't realize, was that there was a whole association!!

So perhaps the peony thing won't work out, there will be too much of a glut on the market and I don't have a job lined up for the two years it would take to start the plants growing strong. But follow me down this path for a bit, the one where money is no object, and I actually don't kill every ivy plant that crosses my path (supposedly one of the easiest plants to grow).

I would buy this house: http://www.trulia.com/property/1074787248-20723-N-Glenn-Hwy-Palmer-AK-99645 it's reduced guys, it's like a siren song to the buyer in me! As an aside, if you went to look at the house, I hope you made it to the last few pictures of the 25 where there are gratuitous "cute moose" pictures (notice they didn't show you the bears or wolves or scary animals). It's half the price of the house I have my eye on here AND it has 13 acres of land, surely that would be plenty of land to grow peonies! The house is slightly over 2,000 square feet and has a large outbuilding so there's got to be a space for my boy to set up a dark room, not to mention to start thinking about making my compound for family/friends to visit.

We would be 20 minutes away from the fairgrounds and certainly live far more in the wild than I ever have. This means my boy could take all the nature pictures he could possibly want and once a year there would be a market practically in our back yard to sell them!

Maybe we could branch out, in the winter we could offer to cater holiday parties, or go to church bazaars and similar events with a cotton candy machine or kettle corn. In fact, the Alaska state fair has a LOT of nice booths, ice cream booths with fresh made waffle cones filled with barley caramel ice cream, genuine southern gumbo, and lots more yummy items, but I don't think they have deep fried cheese curds. We could TOTALLY fill that market. If that's too tough though, maybe we could just make deep fried oreos (such a simple treat).

I think we could totally make it work, and I also think, barring the fact that we have no money and I don't love winter, we'd be way happier than we are currently (and by we, clearly I mean me).

While searching for property in Palmer, I vaguely remembered a for sale sign I saw when we were up there this summer. Wolf Country USA is for sale for $950,000 I've always been a fan of crazy road side attractions. The problem is, I find wolves mildly intimidating and I'm not a great gold panner, so I am not sure that wolf country is the best fit. Perhaps if they had something in the way of pink flamingos. . .

EDIT: My boy heard about my plan and said he'd rather grow giant cabbage and start a sauerkraut canning company -- perhaps that's what we could do with the winter months? I mean he is from the land of pork and sauerkraut.