Remember?

A long time ago, way back in July in fact, I posted about the ceiling in my room falling in. The landlord's son came and took a look and was talking about all sorts of crazy tests involving thermal monitors etc. that might have to be done to figure out where they leak was coming from and then they'd get the leak fixed and they'd re-plaster my ceiling.

Nothing happened on that front. Months passed, my boy's family came to visit and we put his parents in my room because even though the ceiling's falling in, it's still the nicest room in the house. October came and went. Then in November there were a series of really bad rainstorms and more plaster and more wetness. So we contacted the landlords again. They had someone come out to clean the gutters and to look at the windows, but they couldn't do anything about the roof because at this point there was snow and ice about.

As I have mentioned in the last couple of posts, I am sick. Tonight, I came home right after work because I figured I'd be no help cooking a meal and I shouldn't stand out on a street corner for a couple of hours. When I got to my bedroom, I noticed even more plaster had fallen down and the ceiling is wet again.

It is unclear to me if it is wet because the sun has been out lately and snow is melting off the roof and coming in wherever the leak is, or if, contrary to all previous inquiries, it has something to do with something going on on the third floor. It seems unlikely that there would be a kitchen or a bathroom above my bedroom on the floor above, since the plumbing seems to be piggy backed in one area of the house (the kitchen and the bathroom being situated near each other in our apartment), but I find it terribly hard to believe that there's not some evidence up on the third floor of this terrible leak that's occurring down here on my ceiling. . . .

Also, now my parents are coming to visit and the eyesore that was here when my boy's parents came to visit has almost doubled in size. And it's all well and good for my boy's parents to sleep in a room with a horrible ceiling for one night, but these are my parents and it's six nights! You (if you're not my boy) see my problem here, I'm sure :).

Ear Drums, the Best Percussion Instument

We just watched an episode of Little People Big World where Zach had ear surgery. It brought back flash backs for me. In a follow up check up the doctor said I am just going to put a speculum in here and I cringed and flailed just as Zack cringed on tv. I fainted during Million Dollar Baby in the scene where she's in the hospital, not any fighting, just the scene where she is hooked up to all the tubes, and I thought I might crash again with the whole ear surgery thing here. . .I managed to make it through, but the squirmy feeling at the bottom of the spine is still there if I think about it too much.

My ears aren't too hot today either. I am still fighting the cold, after Saturday's bright "I can breathe" moment, things got stuffier again so Sunday I spent all day in bed and today I spent most of the day in bed (luckily there was a Golden Girls marathon on one channel and a Little People Big World marathon on another). Since I am still stuffy and my ears are still plugged, I am looking for a miracle tonight similar to the curse that started all this. Perhaps I'll feel perfectly fine as of 3am.

Sick

I got a cold as of 3pm on Thursday. It seriously came on as if it were scheduled. 3pm and I had a very bad headache and my ears filled with fluid and my nose got stuffy. Friday was dreadful. Saturday though hasn't been nearly as awful. I am still sick, but somehow staying in bed all day and remembering to take decongestants every four hours has cleared my sinuses enough that I can breathe through my nose again. It's really exciting news here!

Health leads me to my next topic, (I say that as if the entire point of this post WASN'T to show you this). My boy found the following schedule for the Central Pennsylvania Blood Bank. This tips the scale slightly in favor of moving to Central Pennsylvania. Any place that can boast giving Seltzers Smokehouse Bologna for your blood is pretty high up in my book! I don't actually give blood, but if I could be promised more than some cookies, maybe I'd be more inclined to get over my extreme fear of needles.

Harrowing Dreams Continue

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night from a horrible dream. I was minding my own business in the dream when suddenly we were driving in a really scary section of town (and when I say town think film noir city). Not only was it clearly the projects, but we were in my car where the locks don't work very well anymore and there weren't any streetlights on and no lights in any of the apartment buildings looming large all around us. We were really nervous and could feel, but couldn't necessarily see and I don't remember hearing anything actually just an erie silence as if the entire city were about to pounce, crimes occurring all around us.

We made it through the city and out onto the other side and it turned out I was narrating what was going on, I heard myself say: "So then we were in Florida but it turned out it was execution season, so we ended up being at a mass hanging. . ." Next thing I know we're walking into an old building, it looks like it may have been a factory, with big open empty rooms with very thick wooden beams and stone walls. We're taken up to a room upstairs where there are about 12 people who are about to be hanged. They're currently just sitting up in the room with a psychiatrist chatting fairly easily, and pleasantly, not looking like violent criminals at all. There are a couple of women that get in a little spat, but then make up quickly because they decide that since they're going to be hanged soon, it's not worth it to fight. One of the women had a clear pencil bag with a lot of paper clips and some rubber bands and a couple of dollars and I thought about her parents who would get that when she was hanged. That that was what they would have to remember their daughter by.

I don't know what finished the conversations, but it was clear that the hanging was supposed to start soon and I freaked out --none of them did, just me. My boy escorted me out of the room and then I blacked out and the next thing that happened in the dream was that I was awakened with sliced onions under my nose. The psychiatrist was baffled by my reaction and suggested that I be excused from watching all of those people be hanged.

You guys, I haven't read that website I told you about that has the last words of people who are about to receive capital punishment since I told you about it back at the beginning of November! Even when I read that website, I suffered no ill effects on my sleep. Seriously, I think this series of dreams is simply stemming from my insane unhappiness at work. Clearly, the whole blog series on random alternatives to this life are not helping enough. I am hoping a long weekend will.

I Like You a Latke

You guys, the New York Times was discussing a kimchi pancake today and they said: "Kunjip’s pancake [is] similar in texture to a hearty latke." Don't you think that's a sign? I make a good latke, clearly the stars are aligning for me to transfer that talent to making kimchi pancakes with my own, home grown giant cabbage kimchi!

I'm In LOVE!

Okay guys, I was totally not going to mention this because a. it sounds like a new year's resolution, and we've talked about that before and how February is the worst month in the world because we all come crashing down off new year's resolution highs and we realize we were the same people we were before the new year's resolution (which yeah, yeah, blah blah blah we should love ourselves as we are etc. etc. --I certainly hope you're not reading a blog called getbitter and planning on saying crap like that and not getting flamed) and b. because I am thirty some years old and I have had highs and lows, but never has a diet plan stuck and let's be honest day one and a half in isn't an indicator that one will so why share anything with the world, but I love this program online so I thought I would share it with you even though it's only day 1.5 of me entering items and in all likelihood it won't last a week.

I know that this picture is tiny and I am really sorry, perhaps I'll try to be a better blogger at some point and try and zoom in for you, but right now I can't. What you're looking at in tiny tiny format is the really cool screen on your personalized page from thedailyplate.com (the picture is linked so you can make your own account if you want). I totally get that most people don't like journaling and it's annoying to try and remember what you ate, let alone how much, but so far this is fun and effective (remember it is day 1.5 people).

On the top right corner, you can see a little water bottle, for every glass of water you drink you get to add to the bottle and it fills up till it congratulates you on drinking water (what can I say, I am even excited when a credit card machine says approved, maybe I didn't get enough affirmation as a kid, but I love the water droplet saying congratulations).

Below that is a little pie graph with information on what percentage of what you ate was carbs, protein and fat (can you tell I ate an avocado today -- red is fat).

The section underneath has customized meals. You can click off a series of items you ate, rice, beans, squash, ham steak, and group it together so that next time you eat it you can just select "rice and beans" (or whatever you named it). There is a section below the customized meals that has the individual components you ate recently so you can simply click and add them instead of having to search for them each time. This has a lovely feature that you can organize alphabetically or by frequency.

Slightly above the widest section of the page it tells you approximately how many calories you have left for the day. The widest section is reserved for the food you've consumed. You can look at the nutritional values at a glance (calories, fiber, protein etc). Also, when you add an item, the program will sometimes suggest a similar item, that's better for you, so you can make more informed choices in the future. Below the wide section is another run down of the calories you've consumed so far, fat protein etc. and what percentage of your daily intake of each they represent, 94% of your protein for the day etc.

There is also an exercise feature where you can search various activities for calories burned (including washing dishes for a church function 200 some calories an hour people) and the site will track all that for you as well (I haven't used that part yet).

Finally, for people willing to share more information I believe there are ways to post the information to your facebook account and other options including friends through the site where you can hold each other accountable etc.

I realize that this may be a boring post, and that this site may not thrill you, but I have really enjoyed using it so far (all 1.5 days) and since it's free I thought I would share!

Someone's Been Sleeping In My Bed

Or rather, barging in on my dreams. This weekend I woke up from a terrifying dream where a bear was rushing toward my house (we lived in Palmer in this dream). To make matters worse, our dog was on a lead outside and the bear was swerving to get him. The next morning, I told my boy about how I frantically opened the door and struggled to get our jack russell off his lead before the bear could come up and crash through our sliding glass door.

My boy said: "You should have known right then that it was a dream!" I was confused and said "Because we wouldn't have sliding glass doors in the wilderness? Or because the whole bear charging the house scenario was a little too The Great Outdoors (skip to 1:24)?" He said: "No, of course not, the fact that we had a little dog should have been a tip off!" I said, "well jack russells are kind of sporty, it's feasible we'd have one." My boy just shook his head and muttered something about small dogs and sporty and ridiculous. . .

Go Ahead, Have A Cow

My friend Christina introduced me miniature cows awhile ago. While I thought they were darling, I didn't really expect to have one. Since we're talking about the dream still, don't you think one of these babies would be perfect?!

My mother has always said that Jersies are the most beautiful cows, and of course she's right. I mean come on, they have the longest lashes and beautiful brown eyes with golden coats. Go look at that link and find Louise and tell me your heart doesn't break a little at her cuteness!!

Having a cow could provide some natural fertilizer for our plants and maybe a little cream for my coffee (am I reading that right are they saying those little cows provide 6 gallons of milk a day?). I think this plan is a keeper.

The Time Has Come

When I was little, my grandfather used to recite these lines from the Walrus and the Carpenter:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things:Of shoes--and
ships--and sealing-wax--Of cabbages--and kings--And why the sea is boiling
hot--And whether pigs have wings."

I was thinking about them a lot today. About how perhaps they could be a mission statement for our new farm, or at the very least, be used in our once a year whole pig roast accompanied with all the sauerkraut varieties we'll be making.

Since I typed out my current wild dream yesterday, I've thought about it more. I am concerned that I have now worked myself up into such a frenzy I'll be terribly crushed when I come crashing down from this dream. Another friend suggested that since the cabbages in Alaska really are giant we could also make kimchi (another favorite of my boy). I think it sounds brilliantly fun (though smelly).

You can go here to find recipes and learn about the history of kimchi (you know what else there is even a kimchi museum). This summer we went to a Korean first birthday at KumGangSan and my boy was sorely tempted by these huge plastic tubs they had of kimchi in various states, we briefly considered buying one just because it was such a great size (and they did make a particularly good kimchi), but with our new plan, we could have our own giant tubs and make other people jealous! It looks like we could even go here and try out the techniques before committing to a whole big processing system: http://store.therawdiet.com/pisaandkimch.html

Pork and sauerkraut apparently brings good luck for the new year among the PA Dutch, at least that's what my boy's family (and the post I linked to yesterday) say. I think that we could start an annual New Year's whole pig roast and sauerkraut buffet. Someone suggested that New Year's in Alaska might be cold for a whole pig roast and perhaps we should do it in the summer. I said, it doesn't bring good luck in the summer, besides, the summer will be reserved for giant homemade bratwurst and sauerkraut barbecues!

With my new plan though, we not only have to set aside the issue of money, jobs (though I remembered I vaguely know two architects, perhaps my boy could work for one of them?!), and my dislike of winter, but also set aside my fear of canning. . . besides that, this plan is brilliant. I mean really, don't you think that having 5 acres of peonies and five acres of giant cabbages would make a beautiful mix?

Don't think you've heard the end of this. Oh, no, the floodgates are open people, I'll be chattering about my calling to garden, for a lot longer.

Ennui

Lin Yutang said: "Probably the difference between man and the monkeys is that the monkeys are merely bored, while man has boredom plus imagination."

So I usually only blog when I am bored or annoyed. I was unbearably unhappy at work today. So much so that on my lunch hour I spent time searching for another job. I cannot handle the social dynamics at work. It's so frustrating sometimes. In the last few months, I've had a couple of dreams that include me quitting my job. As you know, I have also been unhappy generally and have felt pulled somewhere else, I just can't figure out where.

A friend suggested that perhaps blogging my ideas for alternative realities may help the build-up of unhappiness. Awhile ago, I wrote about a house I wanted but I wouldn't share the link because it was too dear to me. That house has since sold (shockingly, not to me). So I've decided to share my insane dreams with you all from now on.

Today, my big plan when I couldn't find anyone hiring was to buy a house (still have no down payment mind you) in Palmer, Alaska and start growing peonies . People on weddingbee.com are always moaning about how they cannot get peonies in the middle of summer because they're not in season. I thought I was brilliant for coming up with the idea of growing them in Alaska. When I was in college, I would love it. It would be lilac season in Michigan and then when I got home to Alaska it would be lilac season all over again because Alaska's summer was about a month delayed. Clearly, I could use that same theory for my peony business!!

When I was home this past summer my dad mentioned a family friend had considered going into the peony business. So perhaps I should have realized that my brilliant idea wasn't so unique/earth shattering. What I didn't realize, was that there was a whole association!!

So perhaps the peony thing won't work out, there will be too much of a glut on the market and I don't have a job lined up for the two years it would take to start the plants growing strong. But follow me down this path for a bit, the one where money is no object, and I actually don't kill every ivy plant that crosses my path (supposedly one of the easiest plants to grow).

I would buy this house: http://www.trulia.com/property/1074787248-20723-N-Glenn-Hwy-Palmer-AK-99645 it's reduced guys, it's like a siren song to the buyer in me! As an aside, if you went to look at the house, I hope you made it to the last few pictures of the 25 where there are gratuitous "cute moose" pictures (notice they didn't show you the bears or wolves or scary animals). It's half the price of the house I have my eye on here AND it has 13 acres of land, surely that would be plenty of land to grow peonies! The house is slightly over 2,000 square feet and has a large outbuilding so there's got to be a space for my boy to set up a dark room, not to mention to start thinking about making my compound for family/friends to visit.

We would be 20 minutes away from the fairgrounds and certainly live far more in the wild than I ever have. This means my boy could take all the nature pictures he could possibly want and once a year there would be a market practically in our back yard to sell them!

Maybe we could branch out, in the winter we could offer to cater holiday parties, or go to church bazaars and similar events with a cotton candy machine or kettle corn. In fact, the Alaska state fair has a LOT of nice booths, ice cream booths with fresh made waffle cones filled with barley caramel ice cream, genuine southern gumbo, and lots more yummy items, but I don't think they have deep fried cheese curds. We could TOTALLY fill that market. If that's too tough though, maybe we could just make deep fried oreos (such a simple treat).

I think we could totally make it work, and I also think, barring the fact that we have no money and I don't love winter, we'd be way happier than we are currently (and by we, clearly I mean me).

While searching for property in Palmer, I vaguely remembered a for sale sign I saw when we were up there this summer. Wolf Country USA is for sale for $950,000 I've always been a fan of crazy road side attractions. The problem is, I find wolves mildly intimidating and I'm not a great gold panner, so I am not sure that wolf country is the best fit. Perhaps if they had something in the way of pink flamingos. . .

EDIT: My boy heard about my plan and said he'd rather grow giant cabbage and start a sauerkraut canning company -- perhaps that's what we could do with the winter months? I mean he is from the land of pork and sauerkraut.