In Christ Alone

On Sunday we were in church for one of our sporadic Sunday visits (I mean really what kind of people go to church two to three times a week but only manage to get there on Sunday every other week?). After getting help unloading a car full of supplies for various ministries and being blessed with a parking spot near the door -- that alone led me into a lot of philosophical discussion in my head about whether it was ok to pray for something as stupid as a parking spot so fervently and be annoyed when God wasn't quick in responding, I mean on the one hand all the supplies were things we were hauling to the church to further HIS kingdom. On the other hand people are dying an being persecuted in his name all over the world. . . reminded me a little of Jonah and that tree :)-- we went up to the service.

It was a great service, from the baptism to the guest speaker. One of the closing songs we sang was In Christ Alone. I am always struck by the following lines:

No guilt in life, no fear in death—This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'rof hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

I suffer from a heightened sense of guilt. I blame it on my Jewish half (that makes me feel guilty too though ;)). I also have an extreme fear of death even though Christians are supposed to feel ok about it. I fear stupid things like getting bored, and how overwhelming F-O-R-E-V-E-R is and how you have to get along with other people and how nothing is the same as this current world order. . whew, I am getting worked up right now just thinking about it. I mean seriously, terrified.

Anyway, on Sunday, even more than my usual contemplation and prayer that goes along with this section of the song. I thought about my mother. I realize that when it talks about "no pow'r of hell, no scheme of man" It is really talking spiritually rather than physically, but it was good to get a perspective on this. For months now we've watched as doctor after doctor has just made the situation with her worse. When we've thought we'd hit rock bottom, we'd realized that there was a trap door to a whole other level. My prayer on Sunday was to remember God's sovereignty in all of this (though I have to admit, it also included praying to God to stop the pain and to overthrow our enemies -- cause it never hurts to throw in a little Psalm action when you pray).