I hate doctors

I hate them with a burning passion. A frightening body shaking fury. A powerful hate that makes me want to punch the living day lights out of the last one that was here. I am still thinking about how satisfying it would have been to flatten him as he was in my face telling me how busy he's been this week. How he's had a rough week. 

Really? Why don't we instill a freaking infection in your back as a result of you and your colleagues sheer incompetence and then leave you in a hospital room to rot until you're doctors are tired of that game and decide to send you home. You, the patient who hasn't had a temperature in a normal range for more than 24 hours, who hadn't up until those 24 hours had a normal temp for three plus weeks. A patient who has had one semi-normal kidney test in an entire week and two days before had an even worse kidney test when fluids were being tapered before. A patient who clearly should stay at least one. more. day. . . . . Then tell me how your week is going. 

Sigh, the doctor that I am visualizing deliciously on the floor from my powerful punch (yes, the only thing I know about punching is you keep your thumbs on the outside, but still) just came back. Instead of being in my face or belligerent or cavalier as he was earlier, he touched my shoulder gently and handed me a card with the "back" number so we could call and make sure that a follow up appointment was made quickly. 

It's sort of representative of how this whole trip has been. A lot of ups and downs. A lot of euphoric we're out of the woods now, followed by crushingly low lows. A lot of anger at the powerlessness of it all only to have the winds of anger sucked out too. 

I watched an episode of NOOMA on anger and how wonderful it is in the sense that it gives you an energy, a power etc. It talked about how anger can be used for good. Anger can enable you to fight for social justice. It can help you stand up for what you believe in. It can be the impetus you need to do right. I, however, find myself going the other way. . . The non-nooma endorsed way. Letting my anger at the powerlessness of this whole situation, the injustice of it simply lash out at others. . . . 

As good old Paul would say: I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. You can try looking it up on Biblegateway.com, Romans 7:15, good luck with that. I couldn't get a link to that verse.

Addendum to Dressings not Dresses

For up to the minute (well at least almost daily) information on the gross (both grossly incompetent and just plain ew gross) things the medical professionals are doing to my mother, you can go to my dad's blog: http://hartofak.blogspot.com/

Dressings as opposed to dresses

So after mixed reviews on the dresses (some so terrible I won't repeat them here), MZ and I went out dress shopping. I found two more contenders. I am not posting them online though, and not just because my sister is liable to call an intervention. It turns out we're not going to the wedding, we're going to AK to try and help out with my mom's recovery. I mean we're not trained medical professionals, but we are able to fetch things and to cook meals to be frozen and to stay "on call" while my dad and sister sleep or go to work.

Alaska Air was incredibly accommodating and the woman I spoke to was helpful and conscientious. Northwest Airlines on the other hand has been nothing but horrible to deal with. When I called for help I was told that they could walk me through it online but they couldn't help me over the phone unless I paid $40. So I could keep the guy on the phone forever as long as he was helping me online, but he couldn't quickly look up the information and just do it. . . Makes total sense. Also, annoyingly, with the tickets we bought instead of being able to just get a "refund" where they give us the credit to use within a year, it's either figure out some other flight you want to take and the credit will be applied (less the $200 change fee) or you just lose it all. Mind you I believe that NWA is now one of those horrible airlines that charges for your first piece of checked luggage as well (which makes me go cross eyed and my blood boil when I think about it -- you know because we're not allowed to have liquids through security and the cabins in planes were already crowded enough before all this and this is just INSANE), so what did I expect really?

I don't really know that there's much point to this post. But I was Internet starved for the last five days and I finally caught up enough on work to take a small break so there you have it. I've posted.

The Sweater Dress Phenomenon

So I am trying to decide whether to succumb to the sweater dress phenomenon. Really, in all honesty I've gotten too fat for my standby "dress I wear to weddings". Not too fat to wear it at all mind you, just too fat to wear it comfortably all day. Sad since it looks terribly lovely next to my boy's blue pin stripe suit, but let's move on because while I'm working on the being the fattest I've ever been in my life, it's slow going and as much as I want to be motivated to go back to the gym, so far I am not. Anyway, I think the two options I bought would work for our big work event in October as well (and since, as I said, the working on losing weight is slow going, I need to think ahead to things like that). I have pictures posted below. If you'd be so kind as to tell me whether I should stick with them, or keep looking it would be greatly appreciated. Also, please be gentle, I mean yes, looking at these pictures I think I should have a sign labeled wide load taped to my back, but really, I am already aware, there's no need to let me know, no matter how constructive you feel it might be. Oh, and yes, the living room (and my bedroom and my boy's bedroom and the kitchen, are all a mess and instead of cleaning I am doing a fashion show. . . ). Also, I cannot figure out how to post a survey so you can just click a button to give me your answer so you'll have to leave a comment.