Confined Books

August 7th my small group volunteered at the Prison Book Program in Quincy (I started this blog on the 8th, but haven't managed to get it out yet). It was a lot of fun. Some of the letters were heart wrenching and you wanted to help them the best that you could, whether it was searching high and low for a Catholic Bible or trying to determine whether a book on arthritis, sports injuries and bursitis or a book on Tai Chi would better suit someone looking for a book on stretching.

Of course, being a librarian, this totally pandered to my love of finding the perfect book for someone. It also pained me to know that these people can only get books from the Prison Book Program twice a year, that because of limited resources the program can only offer up to a little over a lb worth of books (even though some people are allowed up to 5 books at a time -- which is well over a lb) and the letters are on a 2 month back log AND since books are sent media mail it can take up to 2 months from the time we send them for them to get there.

The other thing that struck me that night was the concept of compassion vs. forgiveness and how different they really are. As I was reading the letters, my heart was moved and I felt so sorry for these people in this confined situation. I felt so badly that they had no access to books etc. I wanted to do whatever I could to help. The thing is, it's not like these people are political prisoners, or refugees, except for the odd false confession, or false imprisonment, most of these people have done something bad to be in jail --I went on a short tangent in my thought process and thought well they've done one thing wrong, they've all stolen remembering a great passage from the Kite Runner:

"Now, no matter what the mullah teaches, there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft. Do you understand that? When you kill a man, you steal a life," Baba said. "You steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. Do you see?"

Then I got back on track and thought if I were raped, reading these letters would I feel just as sorry for a rapist? If I were the mother of a kidnapped child, could I be just as compassionate? If I were an abused wife or a family member of a murder victim could I muster anything but hate? Could I be as gracious as the little girl a couple years ago here in Boston who forgave the man who left her paralyzed?

I mean I have a hard time forgiving just the little things people do to me. . . Of course, this all makes me think of my religion and how I say EVERY week "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" (or some variation). How I know the parable of the man forgiven a huge debt by the king who went out and demanded repayment from someone who owed him. I know all of this, I confess all of this, I believe all of this, but could I do it if called upon?

That's really all for this post. I really am still thinking about it from time to time, wondering how hardened my heart is when something is done to me, and how much I value the grace and the gift that God has given me and thinking about how much responsibility comes with accepting that gift. . . .